His Handmaiden

For the time being...

2011-04-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

For the time being I am putting my blog back up but am making it private.

I am not certain of where I will go from here, or of I will even continue doing much.

We'll see where things go and how the Lord leads me in this.

His Handmaiden ~ Laurel

Wee Bit of Me Wednesday~3

2011-03-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

{one} what was your first job?

First, first was babysitting, then as a waitress at Rosa's Pizza, during my senior year of high-school. The owner is a long time family friend so it was a great experience for a first job, he was very generous and easy-going.

{two} have you ever seen a stand up comedian?

Nope.

{three} when was the last time you played mini golf?

The last time I can remember was going ten years ago, we got together with my cousins to play just before we moved from California.

{four} what was the last picture you took?

Okay, I had to check my camera to find out, it's a stack of books. ;-D

{five} burnt food: yes or no?

Umm... no. Though I have eaten quite a few burnt pizza's and they're really not that bad... sometimes.

{six} if you have a pocket full of change what do you do with it?

Probably count it, then put it in my pocket and jingle it around. :-)

{seven} can you touch your tongue to your nose?

Nope, that's not one of my talents.

{eight} do you scrapbook?

On occasion, I used to do more, and would like to do more in the future, I have some really great stuff and ideas to go with it, but I don't carry them out.

{nine} do you buy lottery tickets?

Never have, and probably never will, it's not something I would get into.

{ten} do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

I enjoy both, typically would rather be behind as I'm not big on being focused on, but I don't mind it most of the time.

Some other news, I recently won a Blog Theme from the Thought's of Spring Blog Party hosted by Lynette Kraft.

It's now in my side bar, much thanks to Jared Kraft from Symphonize for doing it for me, it turned out beautifully!

Saltwater

2011-03-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling quite tired of looking in my closet and seeing my mainly black and grey wardrobe, so today decided to pull out some of my spring and summer clothing. I cannot wear most of it yet as there is still snow on the ground(come on, melt already!) but it was still fun to get it out, and look forward to wearing it as soon as the sun decides to grace us with it's presence.

And I just had to share these:)

Saltwater's Spring and Summer Collection.

Wee Bit of Me Wednesday~2

2011-03-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?

Well, I think it can depend, sometimes scruffy can be okay, but in general I prefer clean shaven.

{two} what's your favorite sundae topping?

Definitely hot fudge!

{three} do you own slippers?

I do not, I really don't like slippers, they make me feel like I'm shuffling everywhere.

{four} did you ever have a tree house?

We have one now, but not when I was of the age where I would have actually really enjoyed it. We did have a lot of other forts though, most of them more underground.

{five} how do you relieve stress?

That's something I'm not very good at, I don't tend to think I'm actually that stressed out, until it manifests itself physically, which can cause a lot of problems. I guess some things I do when I'm stressed out, would be to take a shower, or a nap, or go on a walk. Crying can help me some, it gets out all those pent up emotions. And whenever I know I'm stressed out and upset I usually have a really long talk with my mother, that always helps. Most important though would be prayer, unfortunately it's more often my last resort than my first.

{six} what is your favorite dr. seuss book?

I've been given much grief about this many times, but I'm actually not that fond of Dr. Seuss. But I do like How the Grinch Stole Christmas, we've watched it every year at Christmas ever since I can remember, and I could probably recite the entire thing.

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?

Gymnastics was more my thing when I was younger, and I haven't done anything else. I would really love to do Irish step-dancing.

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?

I use both a lot, but probably the thesaurus more.

{nine} what's your favorite form of exercise?

Jogging,walking, or just doing stretches. Dancing can be great exercise, as can fencing!

{ten} what's the longest you've ever waited in line?

I think it was about an hour and a half, that was on Black Friday.

Movietalk

2011-03-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

Several weeks back my sisters did a Lord of the Rings marathon at a friend's house(I've done this once before, and enjoyed it, but don't need to do it again, at least not for a long time.) With them being gone all day my mother and I decided to have our own movie day, so went out and rented three movies, got some chocolate and other "movie snacks". =)

NOTE: If you haven't seen these movies there are some spoilers.

We started out with A Walk to Remember, which I had heard about a while before and been somewhat interested in seeing ever since. I did enjoy it, although was rather surprised at some of the language in it considering it's PG rating.

I appreciated the portrayal of Mandy Moore's character, Jamie, and her strong faith, it was good to see it portrayed in a genuine and beautiful way, rather than in mockery and derision, such as is usually seen in any Hollywood movies that have any kind of Christian character, especially in a movie about high-school and teens.

One thing that disappointed me is that you don't see if Landon really understands and comes to a knowledge of that faith that she has. He respects it, but you don't see him really digging to find out about it or want it for himself.

Next up, we watched Sherlock Holmes. I really wasn't sure what to expect of this, I had heard mixed reports on it, and so really came into it with no idea of how it would end up being.

Overall I did enjoy it, there were some parts I think could have been done without, and there were some parts I thought were awesome.

The clips of him going through all his next moves in his mind were well done, I enjoyed seeing how he thought it out and came to the conclusions that he did. The whole black magic thing was rather disturbing, but it was nice to see it all exposed in the end. Although it did give a sense though out the entire movie that kind of messed it up a bit for me, I would have preferred seeing him work on a case that wasn't quite so "demonic".

Watson was definitely my favorite character, I much preferred him over Holmes, and well, you really gotta admire the guy for his patience in working with Holmes.

And finally we watched Inception. There are so many reviews out on this movie I'm not sure I even want to bother with one. I will say that I enjoyed it way more than I had thought I would. I tend to be something of a skeptic when it comes to movies, especially with huge blockbusters that everyone likes to rave about. But I had to eat some of my own words when it came to this one.

I think they did an excellent job in putting it all together, and making a movie that actually had something of a plot and story rather than being all about the action and special effects. Although the special effects were really cool.

It was well acted, had amazing cinematography, and was beautifully scored. And I think that's

about all I'm going to say, since really, everything else has already been said. =)

Wee Bit of Me Wednesday~1

2011-03-09T15:09:00.000-08:00

{one}what color is your kitchen?

Mainly green, with a lot of natural wood colors.

{two}do you have a good luck charm?

No, not really something I'm into. Actually I don't believe in luck, blessing come from the Lord and He is always there with me.

{three} do you prefer to write with pencil or pen?

Definitely pen, I have this thing with pens and go through a lot of them trying to find just the right one, which occasionally I do, and it makes my day!

{four} can you use chopsticks?

It's been quite a while but I think I still can, though I'd prefer to stick with a fork if I have the option.

{five} do you prefer baths or showers?

In general showers, if I had a bathtub that was actually comfortable to be in, I might like them a little more. But I also love to sing in the shower.

{six} what is your favorite salad dressing?

I like ranch if it's made with buttermilk, otherwise I prefer Italian.

{seven} can you sing the alphabet backwards?

That is something I have never tried, and am not sure if I even want to.

{eight} do you have any allergies?

I get hayfever in the spring, it's not as bad as it was when I was younger, but still quite bothersome.

{nine} crunchy or creamy peanut butter?

Crunchy. Most definitely.

{ten} have you ever hitch-hiked?

Nope, and hope that I will not have to at any point in the near future.

John Adams~ A Review

2011-03-07T20:04:00.000-08:00

"Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write." ~John Adams

I have been desiring to watch HBO's series on John Adams based off David McCullough's book for some time, and just recently was able to sit down and see it. Started reading the book quite a while ago, though have not as of yet finished it. But from what I have read they did seem to follow it rather closely. How accurate the book itself is, especially of Adam's personal life and character is debatable. But I feel the did more accurately represent the lifestyle of the people living during the American Revolution. Showing it not as a time of freedom and victory as we often picture, but "... a year of all-too-few victories, of sustained suffering, disease, hunger, desertion, cowardice, disillusionment, defeat, terrible discouragement, and fear, as they would never forget, but also of phenomenal courage and bedrock devotion to country, and that too they would never forget." ~ David McCullough

In the reading and watching of it I actually lost quite a bit of respect for John Adams, mainly in how he cared for his family, or rather didn't care for them. Being gone for most of their childhood and so leaving his wife with the full responsibility of caring for and training them. Then even calling her away and sending them to schools. Also in how he handled other men, his lack of graciousness and tact. Not a particularly likable guy.

But as I look at it, in a way it is a good thing that they chose to portray all these things. Many look up to the founding fathers of our nation as very high-standing , exceptional men, and forget that, while they did do amazing things and had much courage and fortitude, they were fallen human being just the same as we are. They had faults and could be harsh and cantankerous.

I very much appreciated the filmmakers for showing things as they were. Not putting the Hollywood glamour into it, but showing hard times as truly being that.

I would not recommend it for younger audiences, because of the portrayal of the events taking place. It is a story of war and the brutality of men's actions to one another during such times.

"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." ~ John Adams

French Girl Knits

2011-03-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

This is a book I would love to get my hands on, all the sweaters are so delicate and feminine looking without being overdone. I've been getting back into more knitting lately and so have been browsing a lot of patterns, most books have just one or two things I like so I can't seem to justify buying the whole thing. But this one I think would be worth it all. Here's a few samples of whats in it!

This one I have definite plans to make for this spring and summer, just need to finish up the other projects I'm working on right now. Which hopefully will be just in time for warm enough weather to actually pull this look off.

Thoughts of Spring

2011-03-07T12:48:00.000-08:00

What is your comfort food/drink?

Drink would most certainly be tea, iced the summer, hot in the winter. Food would vary depending on my mood, chocolate always does the trick!

If money wasn't a factor, what stores would you shop in?

Modcloth, Burberry, Coldwater Creek.

What movie or book character can you most relate to?

There's different aspects of a lot of different ones, I can't seem to think of one that I would say is more than another or that I can almost completely relate to, so I'm just going to go with "Anne " from Anne of Green Gables, because she is my all-time favorite heroine. Though I'm not nearly as outgoing and talkative as she is.

What are you favorite types of reading material?

Probably historical fiction, and older "classic" books.

What is one of your favorite things to catch a whiff of?

Definitely coffee, though there are certain colognes that I really like too, which is one thing I love about having my brother-in-law around, he always has great ones.=)

If you could live anywhere at all(and take all your loved ones with you), where would you go?

Italy, though I really like Scotland and New Zealand too.

Name one weakness of yours. (Confession is good for the soul.)

I very much dislike getting up in the morning, especially when it's cold, and will often stay in bed for far longer than I should. Part of this being a result of liking to stay up late reading or on my laptop.

If you inherited a million dollars, what is the first thing you would do with the money?

Probably stare at it in disbelief for a while, but then I would put it into getting our house finished(I would love some floor and sheet-rock in my room), and then doing some landscaping on our property.

2-14-2011

2011-02-14T11:02:00.000-08:00

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." - C.S. Lewis

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Laozi

"Love is many things, none of them logical." - William Goldman

"It is by loving and not by being loved that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness." - George MacDonald

"To love is to be vulnerable, love anything and your heart will be wrung and possible broken." - C.S. Lewis

"You were never poor as long as you had something to love." - L.M. Montgomery

"It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire that those who love generously know." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"To love would be an awfully big adventure." - J.M. Barrie

Time To Catch Up!

2011-01-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

I feel quite remorseful every time I look at this blog and see the lack of posts. And yet I don't take the time to sit down and do anything about it. And that is certainly not for lack of time either. So here am now to fill you in on what has been going on in my life over the past few weeks.

Our Christmas was quiet and simple, just the way we wanted it, unfortunately I developed a pretty nasty cold the day before so spent much of Christmas Eve night trying to find a position I could breathe in and not wake my sisters up with my constant moving around (for as long as I can remember we have all slept in the same room together on Christmas Eve). Because of that, Christmas Day was a bit of a sleepy day for me, but I still enjoyed it very much and feel very blessed to have been able to spend it with my family, in our own merry traditions, and hope that I will always look forward to it with a childlike eagerness!

Around that same time, I started working as a nanny two days a week for two little gentlemen, ages 2 years and 3 months. This has been something of a different experience for me as I haven't taken care of such young children before and all of my other jobs of a similar nature have been with girls. But it has been a lot of fun and I look forward to what they will be teaching me as I seek to care for them as best that I can.

I mentioned a little while back that I was in a production of A Christmas Carol, playing the role of "Mrs. Cratchit". That again was a entirely new experience for me, I have done choir for many years but this was my first time being in a theatrical. And if given the opportunity I would most certainly do it again! I'm a rather reserved person, so this was quite a bit out of my comfort zone, and at first I was very uncertain about even being involved in it. However I think it brought something out in me that I didn't even know I had, I was never nervous about getting up on stage and loved every time that I could get out there and dance and sing. A friend told me that they were very surprised when they hear that I was doing this, because it seemed so foreign from what they knew of me, and then when they saw me actually doing it, they were even more surprised to see how much I was getting into it. =)

I've been having a host of new experiences lately! My next one however was not nearly as enjoyable. New Year's Eve, I had the opportunity to see how it is riding in the ambulance then being life-flighted to the hospital! That's one I think I could have gone without, but right now I just praise the Lord that I am back at home and have no more than a sprained back and some nasty headaches. And how did this "privilege" become mine? That day was a very long one, I hadn't gotten very good nutrition(more caffeine and sugar than was best) was out very late at a party, still coming off a cold, and quite stressed out. All of this on top of a head injury I had last summer, lead to me passing out and then having a seizure. I was released Sunday afternoon, and have spent most of the last week sleeping trying to get my body fully recovered from the trauma, am on an anti-seizure medication, and will be going to the doctor on Wednesday to get some more things figured out. Please pray that we would be able to work things out to get me off the the meds(the side effects have been bad headaches and an overall drowsiness that can make it difficult to function throughout the day).

Well, I think that pretty well sums things up so far. My plan is to try and keep up with things a little better on here...(hmmm). Any thoughts on the new background? I'm still not certain about it, may play around some, so if you see a lot of weird things constantly changing, it's just me being bored.=)

"Our faith is never so tested - our weakness ever so magnified - our reliance in the Lord never so strengthened - as when we are called to wait upon the Lord's perfect timing, and to obey despite what the outcome may be as we watch his sovereign plan unfold."

- Jasmine Baucham

Only People We Like

2010-12-27T14:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, so as a distraction for myself as I'm sitting here with a cold and headache I'm going to do a tag from Daughter of the King.

Tag Rules:

1. Put your Itunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3.You must write down that song name no matter how silly it sounds.

4. Tag 20 friends.

5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.

6. Have fun!

Here are the questions:

If someone says "Are you okay?" you say...

Into the West-by Annie Lennox

Apparently either I need to go away or they do.

What would best describe your personality?

Agent of Chaos- The Dark Knight

Well, I would not have said that, but I suppose it could be true in some circumstances.

How would you describe yourself?

City of Gold- National Treasure:Book of Secrets

Ah yes, I am quite the treasure trove...

What do you like in a guy/girl?

Anduril- The Return of the King

Yes , it would be very cool if they had the power of a sword, or a sword itself!

How do you feel today?

Celtic Prayer- Meav Ni Mhaolchatha

Each day is full of prayer, I guess today's has a celtic lilt to it.

What is your life's purpose?

The Last Rose of Summer- Celtic Woman

Well, not really sure what that means, but I guess I could be a rose...

What's your motto?

Fog Bound- The Pirates of the Caribbean

I guess I could say this as being that I walk by faith rather than by sight.

What do your friends think of you?

To Where You Are- Chloe Agnew

Apparently they want to be where I am!

What do your parents think of you?

Only A Dream- Alice In Wonderland

That I'm too much of a dreamer, or that they are simply dreaming me up.

What do you think about very often?

Beneath the Cross- Keith & Krysten Getty

Yes I am often at my knees before the cross of Christ thinking of what He did there for me.

What is 2+2?

Who Was That Lying Dead? - A Christmas Carol

Well, um... not sure where to go with that one.

What do you think of your best friend?

Forever Love- Francesca Battistelli

I guess I really care about them a lot, but I'm really not actually sure who this would be.

What do you think of the person you like?

Matchmaker- Emma

Hmmm... do I even want to go there...

What is your life story?

Secrets- Emma

Not supposed to tell, it's a secret! =)

What to you want to be when you grow up?

Forth Eorlings- The Two Towers

A elite horse soldier? Not quite what I had in mind, but it could be fun.

What do you think when you see the person you like?

End Titles- The Duchess

Well, all things end sometime, I suppose.

What will you do at your wedding?

Vivaldi's Rain- Chloe Agnew

Apparently it will be raining, and that would be alright with me, I love rain!

What will they play at your funeral?

Psalm 23- ?

Very appropriate, I think.

What is your hobby/interest?

Skull and Crossbones- Pirates of the Caribbean

I have always enjoyed anatomy and wouldn't mind being involved in some sort of medical profession.

What is your biggest fear?

You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift

Okay, I guess I don't really want to belong to anybody.

What is your biggest secret?

Holy One- Casting Crowns

That's not really a secret, but yes, He is the biggest thing in my life.

What do want right now?

Peter's Shadow- Peter Pan

I could have fun with that, though it might start to annoy me a bit.

What do you think of your friends?

Godfrey- Robin Hood(2010)

I have no idea what this would mean.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Fairytale- Enya

That doesn't sound too bad.

What is the one thing you regret?

Creation Sings the Father's Song- Keith & Krysten Getty

So wrong, I would never regret that.

What makes you laugh?

Prince Edward's Search- Enchanted

The whole movie makes me laugh, and especially Edward, he is so over the top.

What makes you cry?

Knighting Peter- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Nope, not really, I have never cried at that scene, and probably never will.

Will you ever get married?

Beautiful, Beautiful- Francesca Battistelli

That sound pretty promising so I will take it as a yes.

What scares you the most?

Caledonia- Celtic Woman

That's odd, I don't know why I would be afraid of that...

Does anyone like you?

May It Be- Enya

That sounds like it could go either way.

If you could go back in time, what would you change?

All I Ask Of You- The Phantom of the Opera

No idea how to explain this one...

What hurts right now?

Angel Doves- Lynn Hilary

That's sad...

What would you want to say to the person who tagged you?

American Dream- Casting Crowns

Hmm, maybe you work too hard, but knowing what I do of you, this would not be even close as far as the song goes.

What will name this post?

Only People We Like- Emma

I tag...anyone and everyone!

A Season of Pain

2010-12-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

Well! My apologies on how long it has been since I have posted. I did not fall off the face of the planet, although that would be an interesting experience. Just haven't had much to say on what has been going on in my life lately.

Things have been rather dismal around my family's house. The church that we've been a part of for the past two years closed it's doors about four weeks ago.Before we started attending this fellowship my family had been at home meeting with another family listening to sermons on CD. We never felt like that was what God had for us to do but after visiting many churches in our area fell back on it for lack of anything else that we felt we could do. When we started attending this church it was wonderful we were with people that we really felt were seeking to do the Lord's will and follow His word. But after several difficult situations that they were unable to resolve the elder's felt it was best to discontinue as a church. So now we're back in the car wondering what the Lord would have us to do.

My family has had many difficult experience when it comes to churches, from the time I was very little church visiting was a normal thing for me, and I never liked it, I don't do well with new and unfamiliar things so going to a different place each week was quite trying. When we came to this fellowship I was very hesitant, we had just gone through a church disbanding, and it was not the first one. After we had been attending several months I became a lot more open, I really felt like this was a place we could continue at for sometime and that I would even be able to raise my own family within this body. I grew closer with friends there and began putting down roots. So this closing has affected me even harder than any fellowship we have gone to before. I no longer have confidence in any church, and these past few weeks have gone by in a blur of tears and anger. Even now it is extremely difficult for me to sit here and write about it.

I do have hope and confidence in the Lord, knowing that He works all things out according to His, and although things seem all wrong to us, it is all a part of His sovereign and perfect plan.
"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." C.S. Lewis
I know and have faith that what God is doing is for the best, but it is also extremely painful. It seems that every time we have gotten involved in a church things have gone down, so now I am not sure that I even want to try being a part of another one. I am tired of feeling that every time I stand up I get knocked right back down. I know that God will work all this out. Right now I would ask for prayer that my family would have wisdom in making decisions and I would have the strength to get through it. Always standing firm in His grace and on His word.

Hayley Westenra - Christmas Morning

2010-12-02T13:14:00.000-08:00

It's difficult for me to comprehend that December is already upon us. Thanksgiving always seems to come and go so quickly, before I really even feel ready for it. although this year felt rather different as we do not usually have a foot of snow this early in the season. While I think snow is beautiful and would be very put out if there wasn't any for Christmas, I can't say that I'm really all that fond of it. I do prefer chilly days to warm ones, but am not a fan of snow. Maybe if I had more wintery hobbies, like skiing or skating, I would like it, but while I do occasionally get out on the ice, it's not a passion of mine.

That said, I do love Christmas! And having the snow certainly does add to the "magic" surrounding the holiday season. =)

I think this song very well captures some of that sense of the magic of Christmas, it's my new favorite Christmas song on my new favorite CD by Hayley Westenra.

5 Random Things This Maiden Loves...

2010-11-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

1. Gel pens... I go through so many of these because they're what I use for everything, even if it's just jotting a down a quick note to myself.

2. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans... these are rationed at our house, otherwise they'd be gone about 5 minutes after we opened the package.

3. Co. Bigelow's Mentha Lip Tint... I'm not big on lip glosses, but this one I like because it has just a hint of color and gives a zing to my lips.

4. My pillow... I love pillows, but especially the one I curl up with during the night... and sometimes during the day too.

5. The Village by James Newton Howard... the music from the Village is so beautiful, gives me chills every time I listen to it.

On other notes in my life, I auditioned for this years local theatre production of "A Christmas Carol", went to the audition just to go along with some friends and maybe for fun do something. I ended up getting the part of "Mrs. Cratchit". Totally did not expect that, it been years since I've been in a play, but it should be fun and give me something to do for a few weeks. First rehearsal is tonight!

Fulfilling Passion

2010-11-12T16:09:00.000-08:00

" I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it." Elizabeth Elliot

I've had this quote up above my desk on my wall for a little while now, it's something I look at each day and pray for each moment, that I would always remember my goal and purpose while the Lord has me here. That I would remember the relative short amount of time I have on earth to serve Him with. Eternity is something I don't think we can ever really grasp, we are finite and so the infinite is completely beyond our comprehension.

The desire to serve with all of me is a difficult one to live up to. It shouldn't be, just giving a moments consideration to everything that God has done me and me being so completely undeserving should be enough to make me want to do everything in my power to serve and love him in the way that he has loved me. But it is very difficult, very few Christian's have a deep passion for Christ.

The other day I was talking with a friend about hunting, it's really tough to get away from that topic at this time of year, not that I have anything against hunting, actually I rather like it. but talking about it so much gets old pretty quickly, and it starts to sound like the same story over and over just from different mouths. Anyway, as I was with this friend, he was talking some about how hunting is such a big thing for so many people, they have a passion for it, they want to talk about it all the time, there's a certain thrill in going out and being on the chase, shooting a buck, and then dragging it out of the woods(that part isn't quite so exciting). So much effort is put into making the time to go out and do it, having the right tools and exacting your own skills to be able to be the best that you can at it.

But how often do people put that same drive and passion into their walk with the Lord. It seems that we will focus on anything other than that, maybe not hunting in particular, but we all have things we love and get excited about. Most of them being things that in the long run will matter very little. But we fear to lose them, we want God to give us a desire for Him and focus on His Word, but we won't rid ourselves of the things that distract us from Him.

When we do finally put those things aside we find that He more than fills up any void that they might have left behind. We're talking about the Creator of the universe here, how could anything be more important to us than our relationship with Him?

"How sweet all at once it was for me to rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose!... You drove them from me and took their place... O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation." Augustine

Some Late-Night Thoughts

2010-11-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

The life of a homeschool graduate who's main desire is to fulfill her calling as a wife and mother can sometimes be a strange, uncertain journey. I suppose that everyone has uncertainty's in their lives, but I have to say that at times it can be very difficult to be in the above position in that there really is nothing I of myself can do to get to that position I believe God has called me to. In pursuing a career there is a lot of action that each person has to do to reach it. As far as being a wife and mother I can train and prepare myself for it, but when it comes to it actually happening I am completely dependent on a man pursuing my hand. I am very much okay with this, I have no fear, knowing that if God has truly called me to this He will bring the right man at the right time.

But while I have no fear I do have uncertainty as far as where I am to go before He brings this about. I have something of a fear of pursuing anything in much depth, mainly because all I really want to is to be a wife and mother and so hesitate to devote much of my time to something I won't use or need in the future. At the same time my life is not about waiting for things to happen, it's about redeeming the time that I have before me, using it to the best that I can.

All of that to say I'm rather confused right now as to the direction things are going in. I have a lot of uncertainty right now, and lately have just been coasting, avoiding making any real decisions of what to do with my time.

And now I'm really not sure where to go with this post. I had hoped when I sat down and started writing that more things would come to me as I went but it's not working so well.

My mind is spinning with things and I can't seem to settle down and focus on any one of them. It's also a lot later than I should really be awake, though I've found that I write better late at night when the house is quiet, not that our house is ever particularly noisy considering that we are all girls, and our favorite activity is reading. :-) I think my juices just flow a little better late at night. At times that can be fun and when I'm in the middle of it, it works out really well, but what seems like a great idea at 1 a.m. usually ends up having been a bad one when I then have to get up in the morning and go through my day. On that note I think it's time I ended this and caught a few winks...

Ahh... A Tag

2010-11-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

I was tagged a bit ago by Daughter of the King, and for an inexplicable reason haven't gotten to it till now, because of my lack of creativity right now it is quite a relief to have this tag, thanks Sarah!

Okay, so she asked nine questions which I will now answer and then I will come up with nine questions of my own to tag nine other bloggers with. Here goes!

1. What is your favorite book and why?

My favorite book is the Word given by God, for reasons quite obvious. But as far as other books, it's Jane Erye. I really don't know why, my mother finds it depressing, but has been one of my absolute favorites for several years now.

2. If your could pen the name of your own memoir what would it be titled?

Hmmm... I really have no idea, probably something with Greek roots.;-)

3. What is your favorite song, and what is it's meaning to you?

My favorite song changes constantly as I find new things to listen to and my own perspective of things changes. Breathe has been a favorite for a long time, it embodies what my life is for, God and Christ are the very air that I breathe, ever there and all that I am. The bread I eat, without which I am lost.

4.What is your ideal blogging/writing atmosphere?

Well, I usually write sitting/laying on my bed, I would like to do more on my desk, but I have no electrical outlets in my room there is one right outside my door and so my bed is the only place

the cord can reach. Usually I have music blasting through my headphones and I like to pretty much shut everything else out. I find I write better at night when the rest of the house is completely quiet.

5. What is your favorite movie genre, and why?

I enjoy a lot of different genres, but I guess my favorite would be historical films. I love watching things that I know really happened, they have so much more depth and significance to them.

6. What is your favorite tv show, and why?

We really don't watch a lot of tv at my house. Of the shows we've bought my favorite is

Stargate: Atlantis. Why, well I enjoy sci-fi, other than that I'm really not sure why.

7. If you could have the skill of playing any musical instrument which one would it be?

Well, I play piano, guitar and cello, I would love to be a whole lot better at all of them, and if I had to choose another one it would probably be the violin.

8. Who is your favorite author and why?

I have a lot of favorite authors, it would be very difficult to pick just one. C.S. Lewis, J.R.R.

Tolkien and George MacDonald are favorite fantasy authors, mostly because of their

incorporation of biblical principles in a lot their stories. L.M. Montgomery I love for here perspective on simple everyday lives rather than huge dramatic experiences.

9. Why do you write your blog?

Great question considering that I really don't write a whole lot and talk a lot about lacking inspiration. :-) I think for me it is a creative outlet, a way I can express myself and my beliefs using images, words and music. I can search things out and share with others the things that move me and challenge me. I can speak of my Lord and the amazing gift He has given me in being able to serve and know Him. It is also a way of speaking about things that I am uncertain about actually doing face to face with people.

I don't think I'm going to tag anyone right, mainly because I can't think of any questions, but

please feel free to answer these ones, and let me know in a comment so I can see your answers!

Now I'm going to follow suite to another of Daughter of the Kings recent posts, What I've Been...

I've been listening to... It's a Wonderful Christmas by Micheal W. Smith, I know it's a little early, but I love this CD, and listen to it all year round.

I've been reading...

I've been watching... We're on the 8th season of Stargate, I still like Atlanis better, but am enjoying this as well.

I've been enjoying... hot cider!

I've been wearing... sweaters!

...and scarves!

Time for Knits

2010-11-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Alright, so it's been a while since I've posted anything, I'm very sorry about that, just haven't had a lot to say lately. We're still working on getting my health back to it's "normal" state, if that even exists for me. It's actually going really well, I've been doing a lot better and am now able to get things into more of a routine, although I really need to work on getting up earlier. It can be rather difficult when there's not a whole lot of incentive, I'm not doing school or working so have no place to be in the morning, and so usually do a lot more sleeping and taking my time getting up and going than I really should.

I have been starting to get back into doing more projects lately though, here's some lovelies I found that I would really like to do!

We'll see how much actually comes of it. Anyway, I'm afraid I don't have whole lot else to say right now, sometime in the next few days I'm hoping to get the next "Lady in Waiting" post written... we'll see how that goes!

Until then, au revoir!

Lady of Devotion

2010-10-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

"Much too often people view a single woman as though she should be pitied rather than envied. Nothing could be further from the truth. A lady in waiting has the advantage of being able to develop her love relationship with Christ without the distractions that a husband and family inherently bring to ones heart." -Lady In Waiting: Lady of Devotion
The past week has been a difficult one for me, I've been struggling with some things for a while as far as how I am physically and it all seemed to culminate in this past week. I've been getting dizzy spells and passing out, and have a constant headache that seems to get worse with time rather than wain. We are getting some things figured out with this, most of it we believe is due to iron deficiency and low blood sugar, things that will take a while to build back up. In the mean time I've felt rather stuck. I can't move around a whole lot because of the pain(one of the times I fell I hurt my back). Also my family doesn't want me doing a whole lot and going over while in a potentially dangerous situation, so far I have been fortunate in that each time I have collapsed there has been nothing for me to hit my head on or anything. So I've mostly been in my room or on the couch, this has been rather frustrating to me as I feel that there is things I should be doing. But even writing this our is difficult because of the headache, I'm finding it hard to focus on things.

As I was contemplating this earlier this morning I was growing increasingly frustrated. Not only withe my current situation but with other things going on in my life. I've been reading John MacArthur's The Anatomy of the Church, and while I find it very helpful and insightful, I always come away from my reading somewhat discouraged, I can read these things and be challenged by them but cannot actually do anything about them, God created me a woman, so, while I can serve in the church, it is not my place to speak about these things, that is the elder's and men's roles.

But God showed me something, I'm sitting here unable to move around and do things as I normally would, I have a lot of time on my hands, and I'm seeing all these things going on around me that concern me, but am unable to do anything about... not true, I can pray!

Prayer is something that is very often neglected in my own life, not that I don't do it, but that it becomes somewhat rote. I do it because it is what I have always done, and often I am praying pretty much the same thing over and over.

I have often read and have come in many circumstances to see the truth of this, that when you are experiencing difficulties and struggling in your walk, one of the best things you can do is get the focus off yourself and start serving others. I was unsure of how I could do this until I saw the potential this time in my life had for warring in prayer. Rather than sit here and pray that I start feeling better and get back to my life I started thinking of all the people around me that I know are struggling in one way or another and need prayer. It's basically everyone. So I just started praying for specific things that I know are going on right now that need prayer, I started about 9:30 this morning, went till noon, and found that I have just started on the tip of the iceberg, the Lord just kept bringing to mind more people and situations that need prayer and encouragement.

Fall Fashion

2010-10-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was hoping to go out and do some pictures for the Autumn Modest Fashion Showcase at Marie Loves. But unfortunately haven't gotten any opportunities to get things out and do a photo shoot. I still plan on trying but am not too hopeful of the actuality of it coming to fruition.
So... that said I thought I'd put up some Polyvore sets of my Fall wardrobe and what I wish was my fall wardrobe. =D

As you can see and could tell if you've read past posts, I have a very strong inclination towards tall boots and long jean skirts. If I could I would wear them at all times of the year, but really fall is the best time for it, it just feels more appropriate. I'm so glad it is finally here!

Changes in My Life

2010-10-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I still cannot access the internet on my laptop, but the family computer is up and running. I had several posts I had planned on doing the past couple weeks and lost all of them halfway through writing them out.
Things have only really started slowing down for my family within the past couple of days. It felt so strange throughout the days just before the wedding, I knew what all was going on but none of it really felt like it was actually happening. On Thursday the 16th, we did as much of the more "last minute" shopping that we could, there were still certain things that had to be picked up the day of, but we designated that to other people. Thursday was supposed to be a fairly relaxed day, our friends from Ohio were flying in, we were going to pick them up at the airport at about noon, then spend the afternoon visiting them. They ended up missing their flight so would not actually arrive till midnight. So we came home and unloaded everything, then ended up meeting with some friends who had flown up from Arizona for lunch. My grandparents arrived late afternoon, we had dinner with them, then went to a "sister shower", Roman's sister Rayia had put together for Caitlin. Rayia, it was lovely, thank you so much! A great time of getting to just spend some "sister" time together, I think Caitlin really felt that she was able to get to know you all and bond a bit more through that.
My father, Hayley and I went to the airport about 11:30 to pick up the friends and our aunt. After getting them settled and everything down for the night, went to bed about 1:30 a.m. The next morning was spent doing the flowers( Again, thank you so much Rayia!), making frosting for the 312 cupcakes (much thanks to my aunt Anna for that!), and loading up all the decor, food and various little things you need to pull a wedding together.

At the church, it was mostly getting the reception area put together, Caitlin likes things very simple so the sanctuary was very quickly put together, mostly just candles up there.
But downstairs it was a little more hectic, trying to get a bunch of round tables set up in the most advantageous way can be very difficult, especially when you have several different people who have very different ideas of way it should be done, eventually it all came together, mostly due to *ahem*, myself... well, it's true! =D
After that it was fairly simple, getting the decor put out and all the lights put up, although, really there has got to be a better way to store swag lights so they don't get that tangled! I think the most trouble was just getting some doorways and such covered up so that we didn't have certain "ugly" things showing.
Rehearsal started about 4 p.m. and went pretty quickly, they had written out the order of everything beforehand so we just had to follow directions. Ran through things a couple of times, mostly to get the timing of the music just right. All the music was played by friends, Caitlin walked down to The Seaside from BBC's new Emma, a gorgeous piece wouldn't mind using myself.
After rehearsal went to the dinner, Rhonda did a wonderful job putting it all together, though I'm afraid I wasn't really able to appreciate it all as I was pretty close to falling asleep on my feet by that point, and because of all the activity and being on my feet all day was in a lot of pain from my hip. When we got home I did Caitlin's nails and took a shower, slept very well, thankfully, not sure I would have made it through the next day otherwise. Most of the morning was spent doing hair, I did Caitlin's, which took about an hour to curl and another 45 minutes to put up. Then had mine done by Megan (fabulous job, Megan! and you used 18 less pins than the last time.=). Also helped with my two younger sisters hair and did Hayley's make-up. We got to the church about 11 a.m. Got dressed then did pictures of the ladies. After that it was pretty much just sitting in a back room waiting. It felt really odd, usually with events and such I'm out in the midst of everything, setting things up or making sure that all is just as it is supposed to be. To just sit and wait without any idea of how things may be was an entirely new and not extremely pleasant experience.
But everything went quite smoothly, the whole ceremony seemed rather surreal to me, I wasn't at all nervous or anything like some warned I might be, wasn't even emotional, mostly because it just didn't feel to me like it was all actually happening. But now for some pictures, we havn't gotten the photographers yet, these were taken by a friend and my grandma.

Anna, putting the "cake" together.

Waiting for the bride...

"By the authority of God, I now pronounce you husband and wife!"

They walked out to Marie's Wedding on bagpipes, how cool is that!

I couldn't resist, isn't she adorable!
The Mallery and Carstensen families, a little lopsided, but we're working on it. =)
And the Carstensen family, finally with a son in there!
The bridal party, we were told to do something goofy, as you can see, some of us are good at it... others not so much
"Oh, you horrible man!"
And victory for the guys...

So after the wedding things just seemed to fly by, as maid of honor I had to give a speech at the reception*shudders*, not my favorite part. I tried to write something out but it wasn't working for me so I ended up just winging it, you'll have to ask someone else how it was, as I really cannot remember what even I said. Then there was signing of the marriage license, and I assisted Roman's brother's in kidnapping Caitlin and then holding her for ransom, we were able to get about $280 for her.
Then went out sabotaged their car, mostly just writing on the windows and some balloons, but we also wired the horn to the brake.
I didn't feel like I really got a chance to say goodbye to my sister as there was so much going on and so many people around, but then it's not like she was really leaving, they live close by and I really see her quite a bit, but it is definitely not the same.
Finished cleaning everything up about 7 p.m., much thanks to the Underhills, Haymonds, Mason's and River and Rosh, we would have been there a lot later if not for all of you. After cleaning up, we ended up having all the family from out of town come to our house, picked up some sandwhiches from Subway and just visited for a while, everyone left around 11 p.m. Then I got to bed around 12:30 ( it took a while to wind down). Got up a 5 the next morning to go with my dad to the airport to see the Fellraths off. It was really the only opportunity I got to visit with Kirsten, otherwise I probably would have just stayed in bed. When we got back I wasn't pretty well awake so did all the dishes from dinner the night before and cleaned the kitchen, then went downstairs (yes, the kitchen in our house is upstairs) and organized all the boxes of stuff that had just been unloaded and dumped the night before. We went to church (I was running on lots of coffee) but didn't stay for the meal and afternoon service, came home for a quick lunch then visited with my dad's family from California(most of my mom's had left that morning).Showed then Roman and Caitlin's apartment and went out to dinner.
The next few days were spent getting all the wedding stuff back to it's rightful owner's and/or packed away. I am now moved downstairs, the upside's of which being that I am no longer sharing a room and even have my own bathroom, the down being that it is unfinished, about 3/4 is sheetrocked, the floor is plywood, no paint and no outlets. But we hope to get it finished up gradually so hopefully someday I'll be able to post about my finished room!
So, I was asked to post about my birthday which was 2 days ago, I am now 19! Really, it was quite a relief to me to be done with 18. I didn't really do anything for my birthday, so don't have much to share, and no pictures were taken... sorry, they would have been rather boring anyway.
I did have my new brother-in-law and his wife over, and we had a quiet, relaxing evening together.

My father brought me a dozed red roses!

My parents gave me a digital camera, so maybe you'll start seeing more pictures of my life in general on my blog.

And my sisters gave me a new jean skirt(they are staples in my closet, like a pair jeans, but a lot more expensive and difficult to find). And from Caitlin and Roman, the Horatio Hornblower series, can't wait to watch them again.

Okay, so this is really long and it has now been several hours since I first sat down at the computer. Soon I hope to get back to the Lady in Waiting posts, as I will have a lot more time now for doing all that. Hope you got a glimpse of the blessed day in our life and big change and that I didn't bore you all too much.
In Christ, His Handmaiden

Hmmmmmm...

2010-09-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

So, unfortunately our internet is in and out, seems like each time I try to do anything it fails on me and then I lose everything I just wrote. Hopefully we'll get it worked out soon and I'll be able to do a real post. Until then, God bless and be patient with me... and pray that I will be patient with computers and tech stuff in general. :-D

I'm still around...sort of

2010-09-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

Okay so we're finally starting to wind down from our crazy, big weekend. I'll be posting more details on how everything went soon, right now I really just want to take a long nap.

The photographer put a few photos on her blog, here's a link so you can get a little glimpse of things.

http://jenniferarterburyphotography.wordpress.com/

And So It Begins...

2010-09-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

My apologies for the lack of posts these past few days, things have been rather busy around the Carstensen household. On Saturday we moved all of my sister's things into her and Roman's apartment, went really quickly because we're all so organised. =) No! it's true, my mother is one of the most organised, efficient people I know and she has trained us to be the same way. But I guess we had some pretty good helper's too, especially when it came to moving the bigger stuff.

Things will probably be pretty quiet on my blog this week as well, today starts the really getting into finishing up any last details that couldn't be done beforehand, as well as having guests arriving from out of town and showers, rehearsal and all that fun stuff!

So, cheers to ya'll and I will see you after the wedding!

Lady of Virtue

2010-09-07T10:53:00.001-07:00

"Ephesians 5:18 says, "...be filled with the Spirit." To be filled something must first be empty. To be filled by the Spirit you must be empty of yourself and full of God. You give the Holy Spirit complete and total control of your life. When you became a Christian you received all of the Holy Spirit. To be a virtuous woman,you must let the Holy Spirit have all of you." -Lady In Waiting: Lady of Virtue

Virtuous womanhood is something that our mother sought to instruct us in from the time we were very little, the Proverb's 31 woman has been our standard and example as long as I can remember. The idea of being focused on our inward character and walk with the Lord rather than being consumed with outward beauty and vanity. It is not something we can ever just arrive at, and then rest with the assurance that we are there, rather it is a daily struggle, and constant growing process. We are formed by the events and circumstances of our day to day lives, whether they be times of joy or sorrow.

I believe that often the sorrow has more to do with the forming than the joy, for how can we experience true without first having had the sorrow. It may have been because of my age and just where I was in the growing process, but I found that the last year and half has made up the most significant growth in my life. Over the past year and a half I went through several different therapy programs because of multiple injuries, was in and out of the doctor's office and emergency room and spent a lot of time off my feet trying to deal with the pain that I was in. I had lot of anger because of what was happening to me, I was angry with myself for not being able to heal and angry with God because I didn't understand why He was having me go through this time. I enjoy having a certain sense of independence and was frustrated because I had to rely on others to help me with things. Even now I struggle with the fact that there are certain things I just cannot physically do. I'm learning to deal with this more each day, and am learning how to do things in a different way so that I don't re-injure something.

The time of being out of it and being in constant pain was a huge blessing to me, I definitely would not have said that while in the midst of it, but it has grown me and given me a new perspective on the idea of wanting to control my own life. I see now that it really is best to not have control, what a mess I would make of things if I did!

"A virtuous woman who can find? For her worth is far above rubys." How apt to compare her to a gem, something that is created by the harsh environment around it, and so made to withstand the elements it is in. Something beautiful and rock hard, that is set in what it is and cannot be moved by any other power than that of it's Creator. O, Lord, may I be such a woman, a woman who fears the Lord.

A Cozy Sunday Evening

2010-09-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

My family typically has at least one or two people over on Sunday evening, often it's up in the twenty's. But as we have only a couple Sunday's left with our family all together we decided to be inhospitable and have a family night. It was really a lot of fun, because of all the business going our family really hasn't spent much sit down time together, unless sitting in the car on our way somewhere counts. On week nights we're typically each off doing our own thing even if every one is at home.

So last night we went out and did a little impromptu shopping for dinner, came home and prepared it together, then settled in for a cozy, relaxed evening.

After spending the afternoon outside in the rain it was lovely to curl up by the crackling fire...

Work on a 1000 piece puzzle all together, it's something I remember doing quite a bit when we were younger. On gray days, we build the fire, turn the lights down and work on puzzles for a couple of hours. We have some of the strangest conversations while doing it too, last night there was some talk of "butterfly sneezes"...

My mother, sisters and myself also spent some time drooling over houses, with us it's not shoes or clothes(well, maybe occasionally) but for the most part we all love looking at houses. Caitlin and I were most excited about this charming cottage...

And we also made Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches a favorite of our family, thanks Caitlin!

A little update on how wedding things are going. I finally finished everything on all the dresses, and am doing a final fitting with the Mallery girls today, to make sure everything is just right. We ordered the flowers and cake last week ( it's feels so good to get things checked off!). This week we are going to be baking lots o' cupcakes, probably somewhere around 300. :-}

We'll be moving all the furniture into their apartment this next weekend. (Yeah! We'll have space in our basement again!) And there's probably a lot of little things as well. Less then 2 weeks now!

Lady of Faith

2010-09-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

"If Jesus wants you to be married, He will orchestrate the encounter. You have nothing to fear except getting in His way and trying to "write the script" rather than following His. Jesus does have your best interest at heart. He desire to bless you by giving you the best. Sometimes what you perceive as the best is nothing more than a generic version. Consider His wisdom and love in comparison to your own wisdom and self-love. In whom are you going to trust - all Wisdom and Everlasting Love or little ol' finite you? Ever since the Garden of Eden, women have often felt they could and should know as much as God. Much pain in our world has resulted from dependence on our wisdom rather than on our Father's." - Lady in Waiting: Lady of Faith

When we first started attending the church that we are at now, there was a lot of uncertainty, and wondering if it was the best place for us to be. One of the reasons that we had was that many other people assumed the only reason we were interested in going there was to find husbands. As a family of four girls that had simply been gathering in their own home for some time listening to sermons on tapes, then deciding to go to a church that had a abundance of young men(comparatively speaking) I suppose it was only natural for them to come to that conclusion. But it was one that annoyed us to no end, we did not want to be known as "husband hunters". and our reasons for deciding to attend this church had nothing to do with our marital concerns.

Now anyone that assumed that could still think so, after all my older sister did end up finding one there. But as we, and she, is perfectly willing to tell anybody, it was the farthest thing from her mind for a very long time, she didn't even like him! At least not in that way. And once told us all that she felt very sorry for his future wife, because of the crazy character he can be.

My mother is especially bothered by this because people are assuming something of her that is completely opposite from how she really is, she has never feared that somehow we might "miss our chance" if we don't actively go out and pursue husbands. And when she see's others doing so, finds it rather aggravating. Truly it is a lack of faith on their part, if they feel that they have to search out and snatch up whoever they can find, they are obviously not trusting the Lord to bring about the right person at the right time.

I know that if the Lord would have me get married He will then provide the means to do so, I don't have to do anything but have faith in Him. I am not worried that I may "miss out"because I don't hang out with other young people and don't have that many opportunities to meet young men. I know that when I am ready and he is ready God will bring us together. I could worry very easily, most of the young men I know are engaged or younger than myself. My mother often teases that I was born a year too soon, all the guys are a month to several months younger than I am.

But there is nothing for me to worry about, it is possible that I will not marry, I understand that and while right now it is a difficult thought for me to face, I know that if that is what the Lord has called me to He will give me the grace to joyfully serve in that state. My life is not about getting married, it is about serving the Lord, I pray that I may one day find someone who I can serve the Lord alongside with, doing more together than I could ever do one my own. But if not, my life will not be something stale and lacking, it will be just as much to His glory!

Lady of Diligence

2010-09-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

"Singleness is an enviable condition. An unmarried woman has something that a married woman gives up on her wedding day: extra time for Jesus. Too many young women waste valuable years as they wait for life to begin- after marriage. They rarely realize the priceless free time they waste, until it is gone." - Lady in Waiting: Lady of Diligence

My single years are not a time of waiting. It is not a momentary lapse of purposefulness between finishing school and getting married. I am not sitting in a tower waiting for my husband to fight his way through the guards and rescue me. No "damsel in distress" role for me.

I would strive to be actively pursuing whatever the Lord may place before me. Right now it is things at home, but it has not always been that way nor will it continue to be. I started working while in my senior year of high school, and continued to do so for another year afterwards. I attended a midwife seminar with the purpose of possibly pursuing being a midwife assistant, the Lord has not put that into place at this time, but that doesn't mean that taking that class was a waste of time, I learned things that will help when I, Lord willing, bear my own children and things that can help serve those around me who do have children. The things that I am pursuing now(nanny position, cello, studies in Scripture, etc.) are not just fillers for my time till I really start "living". My goal in life is to serve and bring glory to God, this is something that can be done just as well, if not better, during my time of singleness as during marriage.

"Undistracted and unrelenting describe different facets of the word diligence. "

Focusing on the tasks at hand rather than dreaming about the future, diligently pursuing a life of excellence, using all of my abilities to serve those around me, praying that the Lord might use me as a channel of His grace to someone else, that they too might come to love and serve Him.

Lady of Reckless Abandonment

2010-09-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

The other day I was in the living room staring at the bookshelf trying to figure out what to read next, not that I have lack of books, rather there are so many I want to read I was trying to figure out where to start. My mother came in and gave me one that wasn't even on my list(guess all those others will have to wait a bit). Because of the season of life that I am in right now she felt that reading Lady In Waiting would be appropriate. With my sister's marriage, and the emotional ups and downs that come with helping her on to this next stage of her life, this book has proved to be very helpful for me. And as I await my own time to "graduate" in life.

I've read it through already but am now going through it a little slower, taking time to really think about each chapter and how it might apply to my own life. Some areas are easier than others as my situation varies from the those spoken about in the book, but there is something I can learn from each and seek to use for my Lord everyday of my life, whether I be married or single. I'm hoping to do a post on what I'm learning from each chapter, we'll have to see just how well it goes.

A lady of reckless abandonment... sounds a little, well...reckless. Which is typically not a good thing. But as with all things you really have to put it in it's proper context to really see the whole picture and get a true understanding of what is being said. Ruth is the main example used in this part of the book, her reckless abandonment involved leaving everything that she knew and as far as could be seen abandoning all hope of getting married again and being able to raise her own family in a comfortable, familiar environment. She gave everything to Naomi and a God she had just barely begun to know about, having been raised with a completely different world-view.

As I consider reckless abandonment in my own life, I see as being an abandonment of self and of what I might want for my own life. Abandoning all things that do serve to glorify my Lord, things that may not be wrong in and of themselves, but that can distract me from the most precious thing in my life. Abandoning myself completely to Christ, with Him being the all in all in my life.

"When two "incomplete" singles get married their union will not make them complete. Their marriage will simple be two "incomplete" people trying to find completeness in one another. Only when they understand that their fullness is found in a relationship with Jesus will they ever begin to complement one another. They can never complete one another. You were not created to complete another, but to complement." -Lady in Waiting: Lady of Reckless Abandonment

The quote above I found very helpful. Very often I have been told that it is my role when I become a wife to complete my husband and that his is to do the same for me. But this throws a whole, and I believe more Biblical, perspective on it. How could two fallen, sinful human being possibly complete one another, only in the Lord can we be complete and it must come before marriage. Otherwise we are not able to come together with someone else and complement them. My relationship with my husband will be a very special, beautiful thing, but it is not what is first in my life. Before I can properly love and serve any man, I must be loving and serving my Lord, Jesus Christ, recklessly abandoning myself to this love and service, as it is what my life was created for, my high calling as His handmaiden.

Just Some Tidbits About Myself

2010-08-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, so I was tagged by Polka Dot!

Thanks for tagging me, I've been a little uncertain on what to write about and this gives me something without me actually having to pull my hair out searching for inspiration.

Books I've read recently...

1. Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall & Debbie Jones

2. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

3. What He Must Be by Voddie Baucham

4. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

5. The Great Divorce by C.S Lewis

6. North and South by Elizabeth Gaskill

7. Bleak House by Charles Dickens

8. John Adams by David McCullough

Songs or albums I listen to all the time...

1. Awaken the Dawn- Keith and Krysten Getty

2. Evermore- Shannon Wexelburg

3. The Lost Get Found - Britt Nicole

4. Until the Whole World Hears - Casting Crowns

5. The Village - James Newton Howard

6. Emma - Samuel Sims

7. In Christ Alone - Keith and Krysten Getty

8. Sogno - Andrea Boccelli

Things I love...

1. Pillows

2. Coffee

3. Knives=)

4. Old Books

5. Boots

6. Notebooks

7. Swords

8. Sweaters

Things I've learned this year...

1. It's way better to depend on the Lord than try and control everything yourself.

2. Injuries take time and rest to heal...

3. It is possible to sew 7 dresses in a fairly short amount of time.

4. Nutella is oozing of goodness.

5. Singleness is such a blessing, as it is used for the Lord in service of others.

6. Brother-in-laws are a ton of fun, and pretty crazy to boot.

7. I very much enjoy knitting afghans.

8. It's okay to dress up and be girly sometimes, even if your known as more of a conservative, casual type.

New Recipes I Want to Try and Make...

1. Raspberry Chocolate Cookies

2. Espresso Tiramisu

3. Grilled Chocolate and Cheese Sandwich

4. Chicken Scallopini

5. Arugula Pesto Pasta with Ricotta and Bacon

6. Fettuccine with Yellow Bell Pepper-and-Basil Sauce

7. Tea-Soaked Chicken Breasts

8. Triple-Herb Cucumber Soup

Favorite Online Hangouts...

1. Blogs of friends and... others.

2. Goodreads

3. Polyvore

4. Facebook

5. Biblos

6. Pandora

7. Modcloth

8. Mixpod

Projects I need to work on...

1. Organizing my belongings.

2. Reading all my lovely books.

3. My soft, grey afghan.

4. Finishing the basement bedroom.

5. Honing my drawing abilities.

6. Improving my fencing skills.

7. Baking and cooking more regularly.

8. All the various little things I've started and have no idea where they even are right now...

Other people I think should do this...

1. Daughter of the King

2. Hannah

3. Megan

4. Rayia

5. Raja-man

6. Miss Pickwickian

7. Nahla

8. Eldarwen

Catching up...

2010-08-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

My apologies for the lack of posts these past few days, things have actually been a lot more laid back for me than usual. I had my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday so spent the next couple days being lazy. Really could have written then but was not feeling much motivation or inspiration as far as what to write on.

The surgery actually went really well, of course I was asleep the whole time so don't actually know how much difficulty the doctor's may or may not have had. But when I woke up I was fully alert, none of the confusion or loopiness that I was told to expect. Was able to go to prayer meeting that evening much to the surprise of everyone else there, not that there was that many there, it was actually just us, some of the Mallerys and Mr. & Mrs. Bauer.

The next couple days were the most painful, right now I'm still feeling like I got slugged, and am craving something to actually chew on, rather than drinking all my food.

Things are coming together pretty well as far as wedding plans go, three weeks seems like a very long and very short time. The dresses are now mainly finished, hopefully you'll get to see all my work in pictures after the wedding, right now we're trying to keep things pretty well under wraps so that not everybody knows everything about the wedding before the actual day. =)

Caitlin's been packing her stuff up preparing to move it to their basement apartment. Also has been collecting furniture with which to fill their new home, she recently got a couch and recovered the cushions, we had to test it out to make sure it will fit plenty of people.;-)

Caitlin's shower was quite lovely, thank you so much to all the ladies who came and Hannah for putting it all together!
I meant to write a lot more but am really lacking in words right now, hopefully I'll be posting a little more consistently here soon, meanwhile I'll leave you with a quote from Spurgeon:

"There are times when solitude is better than society, and silence is wiser than speech.

We should be better Christians if we were more alone, waiting upon God, and gathering though meditation on His Word spiritual strength for labour in his service. We ought to muse upon the things of God because we thus get the real nutrients out of them...Why is it that some Christians, although they hear many sermons, make but slow advances in the divine life? Because they neglect their closets, and do not thoughtfully meditate on God's Word. They love the wheat but they do not grind it; they would have the corn, but they will not go forth into the fields to gather it; the fruit hangs upon the tree, but they will not pluck it; the water flows at their feet, but they will not stoop to drink it. From such folly deliver us, O Lord..."

A Week, Possibilities, Ecclesiastes, and God's Love...

2010-08-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

The past week was one of many little things that needed to get done, I mostly finished the dresses for Roman's sisters, just need to hem them up now, something I couldn't do until yesterday as I need them to try them on. It's been fun to sew them, I've never done this many dresses in such a short amount of time, was a bit daunting coming into it, and now I'm feeling rather burned out on the whole sewing thing, but I did enjoy them and found the patterns a lot easier to do then at first I thought they might be, they got especially easy after doing several of the same thing.=)

Went out shopping for Caitlin's shower on Wednesday, and had a lot of fun choosing things that I thought she might like and would be useful in the home. Came home and wanted to show her everything! But of course I have to wait until the shower itself. Which is tomorrow night!

On Friday I met with a gal who needs a nanny for her two boys, one of them being two and the other not yet born, he's due to arrive next month, then she has a three month maternity leave, I would then be taking care of them starting in December. It's not set yet, we met for lunch to figure some things out and get to know each other a bit. She's a rather bubbly personality, compared to my own rather reserved self. Also very sweet and I think it will be a lot of fun to care for her boys and get to know her a little better. But we'll see what the Lord works out.

On Saturday I had the opportunity to sit down and chat for a while with my childhood best friend, he's leaving for college this weekend and we've barely had anytime this past summer to visit. People who met us used to think that we were twins, we are about a month apart in age and did everything together. It is hard for me to believe that this boy that I've played make-believe with so many times is now headed back east and will be at college for four years.

This was taken when we were about 8, in between us is his younger sister.

Today I've mostly been doing things around the house, getting it back together after our company on Sunday, and working on some other little projects. My mother and I sat down and looked at some house plans, we are considering down-sizing after Caitlin leaves, so were working out some options. I have always loved drawing floor-plans for houses, and now am really enjoying looking at things and figuring how best to put it together with my mother. Though we each have rather different ideas of what we like and hers of course come before mine when it actually comes down to what we would end up doing, if it's something that actually happens. Right now it is still just something we are considering as a possibility.

I wanted to share something we read this morning in our family Bible time, we are going through a commentary on Ecclesiastes by Charles Bridges, it is excellent! I highly recommend it.

"The men we want are lively, warm men, real men -men who have a daily contact with a personal living Savior -men, whose religion is the element which they breathe, the principle by which they work - men, who think of life as the seed-time for eternity. What if we should come to the last stage - without having even learned to live! with the great end of life yet unaccomplished!"

This applies to all Christians, not just the men, but it is they who lead and therefore their responsibility to set the example for their wives and children. We need these men in the church today, men who are willing to stand against the world and live fully in Christ, with Him as the central and primary focus of their lives, everything else being of little or no significance.

And now to share another of my readings today, this being from Jasmine Baucham's blog; Joyfully At Home This is just what stood out and challenged me, please go and read the entire post.

"The other day I was reading The Hiding Place, getting ready to teach one of my English students about the life of Corrie ten Boom...

She met a young man named Karel who seemed to be promising her the moon -who, by all appearances wanted to spend the rest of his life with her -who devoted his time to long walks with her, long letters with her, and hopeful promises to her... and Corrie despite the warning from her older brother that Karel would only "marry well", and not into the impoverished ten Boom family, fell in love and built her hopes around this guy.

Karel did choose someone else, and he came to the ten Booms' to introduce his fiance. Corrie was cordial, but the moment he left she ran up to her room and threw herself across the bed and cried, knowing that her only love had just walked out of her life. And then Father walks in:

...suddenly I was afraid of what Father would say. Afraid he would say," There'll will soon be someone else", and that forever afterward this untruth would lie between us. for in some deep part of me I knew already that there would not -soon or ever- be anyone else.
The sweet cigar-smell came into the room with Father. And of course he did not say the false, idle words. "Corrie," he began instead, "do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain.

There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.

God loves Karel -even more than you do - and if you ask Him, He will give you His live for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy.

Whenever we cannot love in the old human way, Corrie, God can give us His perfect way."

I did not know, as I listened to Father's footsteps winding back down the stairs, that he had given more than the key to this hard moment. I did not know that he had put into my hands the secret that would open far darker rooms than this -places where there way not, on a human level, anything to love at all." - The Hiding Place

And I'm reading this passage, the one I've read a million times over the last ten years, and I'm thinking, that's the answer: for minimal crushes, crushing heartache, for dealing with young men who have feelings for you that cannot reciprocate, for awkwardness around young men in general...to love them the ways God loves -to seek their best interest, even if we are not what happens to be in their best interest. To love steadfastly and unconditionally, but in that God-honoring, uplifting way and not necessarily in that romantic way. To love selflessly.

God loves you, and has given you the task of bringing him glory and delighting fully in him as he reigns sovereign over your life's journey -- the moment that task requires a husband, he will send the right one. There will be no guesswork or false hopes or false starts necessary. And part of trusting God's sovereignty in that area is being willing to love -truly love -the young men in our lives, beyond the love we'd lavish on a prospect, and straight onto the love we're to give our brothers and sisters in the Lord(Ephesians 4"25-32)

There will come a day when some of us are blessed to be married to men that we love in that slow-motion, violins, wine and waltzing sort of way... but even in our marriages, I think the best moments in our lives will be when we show our husbands the unconditional loves the Father gives -the kind that goes way beyond a Celine Dion love song and into the realm of true servant-heartedness -submission -and sacrifice. It's the kind of love that isn't always easy -that comes directly from God -that will make the marriage of two grace-saved sinners worthwhile."

This post impacted me hugely, for some time now I've been struggling with my friendships with various young men in my acquaintance, young men I view as brother's but am uncertain of how I am to carry out friendships with because of the ages we are now at. And because of the need I know I have to guard my own heart. Now I feel like I can come at things with a fresh perspective, loving them as God loves and knowing that I need not worry and fret about my future because He will at the right time work all things out. This is something I do already know but it is always good to have it confirmed and worked out in a new way.

I had been considering the possibility of having to cut off some of my friendships with these brothers because of things going on, but I see that I can still love them in the way that the Lord loves and show that to them, having no need to cause hurt and difficulty by cutting things off all together.

I pray that I would be able to show this love, that God would give me the grace to be sister in Christ, loving them as my brothers in Christ, selflessly and unconditionally.

Lord, Teach Me To Love...

2010-08-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

" In heaven everything and everyone is lovable , but as the Lord Jesus said,"If ye love them which love you what reward have ye?"Matthew 5:26 In heaven everyone loves everyone else and in hell no one loves anyone. But on earth we are in a perfect environment for learning to love as God loves: to abandon ourselves to the apparently unlovely people who remind us that in many ways we are still very unlovely ourselves.

Love is not a feeling it is an overmastering passion to help and bless and deliver and comfort and strengthen and give joy to others just as the Lord Jesus always did.

Here on earth we have to opportunity to do what the God of love does all the time, and to learn to abandon ourselves to loving, to giving, to seeking, and to saving others. Not a lovely feeling of affection, or physical pleasure and satisfaction. But the extreme eternal ecstasy of creating happiness and good and blessed things for others to enjoy. To cast ourselves down in happy giving, asking for nothing in return except the joy of so doing. When we really begin to and practice that lesson we shall begin to feel "at home" in the eternal world of selfless love.

It is not a feeling one waits for, nor some person to evoke that love. It is an attitude of will. I will cast myself down in giving. The lower I go the more love I am able to transmit from God to others, just like the Lord of love Himself, who was not content until He found and took the lowest place in the universe." -Hannah Hurnard

Completely

2010-08-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

I was blessed by this this morning at Marie Loves , so thought that I would pass it along.

Blessings, His Handmaiden

An Everlasting Splendour

2010-08-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

"There is a difference between the growth of some human beings and that of others: in the one case it is the continuous dying, in the other a continuous resurrection." George MacDonald

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal... each person is either an immortal horror or an everlasting splendour." C.S. Lewis

We come in contact with various people on a daily basis but do we ever really stop and consider who these people are and what they may mean in our own lives or what we may mean in theirs. I know it is not something that I often think about, or if I do it is once I have gotten home and look back on the events of the day. When we are speaking with others do we consider the fact that we are servants of Christ and therefore witnesses of Him to everyone we come in contact with. These are not just random people on the street, masses of cell life that came about by a freak accident. Everyone is either a child of God or a child of the devil.

Actually taking this into consideration when I am around others, whether it is people I know or strangers greatly changes the way that I interact with them. What I say and do tells others where I am at, if I am a servant of Christ, it should be obvious by everything I do. But it is so rare that this actually comes across, I have met many people who could very possibly be followers of Christ, but it never came across through the interaction we had one with the other, and they could say the same of me. What is it that we do to set ourselves apart from the world and show to them the hope that lies within us, the hope of being eternally with our Lord as children of light, and showing to them their own lost state, as being headed to eternal damnation. What are we doing to glorify the Lord as we walk through each day?

A Living House

2010-08-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

C.S. Lewis

I often wonder about the little things that happen in my life, some moments of happiness and at others times, of frustration and sadness. Things that are not really of much consequence to anyone else and that in few weeks time are of little or no consequence to me. But at the time that they happen they can cause extreme joy and rejoicing or a heavy heart and downcast spirit. I wonder about the reasons behind these things, nothing that God does in our lives is purposeless He is always using everything that happens to grow us in some way. Therefore each tiny little thing that happens, something that we ourselves may view as insignificant is actually of much importance to Him, we are being shaped by the circumstances around us.

In my own life it is rather difficult to see right now where exactly the Lord is leading me. I quit my job a couple moths ago, and have been at home helping my mother prepare for the wedding. Right now that is mainly what I am focusing on, but more recently I have been trying to consider more what I am going to do after my sister has left and I take on my new role as the oldest in my family. Caitlin has always been the most driven and goal -oriented of all of us. After finishing high school she started working and did online college studies getting her B.A. in History. I have been asked several times what I am going to study and pursue in my single years. Apparently our family has become known as one that seeks to be constantly pursuing and studying something. Which to some degree is true, but I really have no desire to be pursuing anything like that right now.

Okay, so someone asks about that and I respond. "So then, what are you going to do?", is the next question and right now I am not really sure of the answer. Then I start questioning myself, who am I? And what am I using my life for right now? I do not want to look back on this time in my life and see that I wasted it in any way. My desire is to be a wife and mother and to train up warriors for the King of kings, at this time that is something I am still waiting for the Lord to put in place. Many in todays society have a problem with this. Just recently we met an elderly lady at a concert, she was asking about our family and what's going on for each of us, mainly Caitlin and I since we are done with school. When she found out that Caitlin is getting married this fall, she then asked her age, after telling her a concerned look came over her face, she then turned to my dad and told him that he needed to "let the girl live a little before getting married." After she had walked away we all laughed a bit, who says you can't live after you get married! It's not like our life ends when we say "I do", rather it is beginning the calling the Lord has lead us to and putting our training to good use. But we were also saddened, this woman has been so misguided by the world into believing the lie that women who are wives and mothers are slaves that need to be liberated so that they can actually live life. Rather than seeing the beauty and glory of the highest calling that God has out in place for us.

But back to my time at home, because I have nothing in particular that I m pursing at this time, I can sometimes feel a bit lost, but at the same time I am being provided with opportunities that I would not have if I were pursuing studies or working all the time. Today I was able to do updo's for a wedding along with a friend of mine, also was able to to do some babysitting this week for someone that needed it. I am able to do the sewing for my sister's wedding and help my mother with various other details. I recently started cello lessons and can pursue excellence in that area. I have time to study things out that my father shows me from Scripture and various teachings. I would not say that I am in any way missing out on living life to it's fullest, because I am at home and in my parents will, the Lord provides more opportunities to serve, and while it can feel aimless at times, it really teaches to trust and have faith that the Lord will show me the next step in my life when I am ready for it. I do not need to have my life planned out, I can just follow Him knowing that He is shaping and building me in every little things that happen, even though I often don't understand it and find it painful. It will in the end be beautiful, because every work He does is perfect, lacking in nothing.

More of My Polyvore...

2010-08-13T06:54:00.001-07:00

I loved the colors in this skirt , it was my basis for the entire outfit, and well, it's pretty obvious that I love boots, if possible I would wear them at all times, but it can look a little strange and be rather warm in the summertime.
Here's and idea of how I prefer to dress when fencing, a shorter, fuller skirt to allow for more leg movement, and in cooler months a jacket and gloves.

Day 30

2010-08-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

A Motto or Philosophy:

"But as for me I will always have hope, I will praise the Lord forevermore."

Psalm 71:14

Wow, my last day... I'm actually surprised at myself for doing it everyday. And I've actually enjoyed it. It was fun having a reason to get on here and write something each day. I hope you all enjoyed it and learned a little more about who I am, and the awesome God I serve.

I'm hoping that I will be able to keep up with writing on a consistent basis, now that I know I can there really is no excuse, is there? I'm planning to address some topics that I have have been hearing and reading about lately, as well as just some daily life stuff. We'll see how things go, and what the Lord has in store for me. Right now, I think it's heading outside for a quick walk before I have to really get going on my day.

Theos Enuelogeomai!

Day 29

2010-08-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Hopes, Dreams, and Plans You Have for the Next 365 Days:
I hope to continue growing more and more in the Word of God, in order that I may have a deeper knowledge of Him and therefore a stronger desire to love and serve Him in everything I do.

I hope to serve my family in a new way as I now become the oldest in the household, I hope that I am able to fill my older sister's place with the same grace and diligence that she has shown over the past 21 years.

I hope to find a job again, so that I may serve another in that way and be able to be active.
I dream of the Lord returning and calling us home to Him, to live with Him eternally in everlasting joy!
I dream of many thoughts for the future that I know are only a possibility by the Lord's will.

I plan to finish that I stack of books on my shelf that I am longing to read.
I plan to finish my basement bedroom so that I can move into it.

I plan to be able to play my cello for our church.I plan to live my life in whatever manner the Lord calls me to that I may live it fully for Him!

Getting Ready for Fall...

2010-08-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

I know it's a little soon, but I just love fall so much! The warm, rich colors, and fun sweaters, and of course my all time favorite... BOOTS!

Fall Business

Fall Casual

Fall B&W

Day 28

2010-08-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

A Scar You Have and It's Story:
I don't really have any scars, all the injuries I've had have been of different nature. Mainly dealing with muscles and joints, despite being all into knives I rarely cut myself, although I do have one scar on my left index finger, from where I cut myself when I first got one of my larger knives. So there's what I've got, not very interesting I know but I'm afraid I don't have anything else.

Day 27

2010-08-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

A Physical Feature You Love:

Eyes! I love looking at peoples eyes, they say more than anything else about that person. And I love to draw eyes, if I just sit down with a piece of paper and start doodling it will probably end up being an eye. In any portrait, eyes are what bring the person's face to life, my art teacher told me that if you can draw great eyes you can draw anything, they are the hardest part to make look right, and he's found it quite odd that they are my favorite part.

Having Fun at Anthropologie...

2010-08-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

Day 26

2010-08-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

A Childhood Memory:

My clearest memories are of the family that lived next door to us when I was little. They were very close friends of ours, and we basically shared both houses. Mostly I remember playing various fantasy things, the ladder that always stood in their yard was the gateway to "Mysteria", which was whatever kind of land you wanted it to be, but usually it was inhabited by some evil power which we had to overthrow in order to return to our own home. That or we all had our time travel watches, and would battle in the Civil War, rescue Jews from the Nazi's during World War II, and escape just in time to avoid being eaten by a dragon.
I was so sad when they moved to Ohio a year before we moved to Montana, it felt like half my family was missing. And we'll get to see them this fall for the first time in 10 years! Though I doubt we'll being doing any time traveling. =)

A Walk in the Park...

2010-08-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we took our guests up to Glacier to show off what we think is one of the most wonderful places to live. Drove up to Logan Pass, and hung out there for a little bit, but as usual in the summertime there was really no places to park and the trails were swarming.

So we drove back to down to Avalanche Lake and did that hike instead, it was my 6th or 7th time doing it, so really familiar, I would have like to do something new, but enjoyed it just the same, Kelsie of course had to get in the water, not content just to look at it. =)

Jordan on the way up...

Me and my big sis!

It was a gorgeous day! A little warmer than usual up there, which was rather nice as it can get somewhat chilly at times. We've been having so much fun with the Pedersons here, went tubing 3 times, and I think this afternoon we will be heading out for our 4th. Hiking's been great and it's really nice to be able to take this time off from all the wedding stuff and do some fun outdoor stuff.

The late nights are really catching up to me though,*huge yawn*, I look forward to getting lots of sleep come Monday! But for now I'll just keep going and start my days with plenty of coffee!

Day 25

2010-08-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

A Recipe:

So this recipe is actually from Blessed Femina, we had it the other night and I loved it! So yummy!

Braised Chicken in Sun-Dried Tomato Cream

Makes 2 servings, can easily be doubled.

2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

1 tablespoon oil from oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes

3 large garlic gloves, thinly sliced

1/2 cup dry white wine

1/3 cup whipping cream

1/4 cup drained oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, thinly sliced

3 tablespoons thinly sliced fresh basil

Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Heat oil in heavy medium skillet, over medium-high heat. Add chicken to skillet and sauté until golden, about 4 minutes per side. Add garlic and 30 seconds. Add white wine cream and tomatoes and bring to boil. Cover skillet, reduce to medium-low and simmer until chicken is just cooked through, about 3 minutes. Transfer chicken to plates. Add basil to sauce in skillet. Increase heat and boil until sauce thickens enough to coat spoon, about to minutes. Season sauce to taste with salt and pepper; spoon over chicken and serve... enjoy!

Day 24

2010-08-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

A Movie No One Would Expect You to Love:

I'm very much a period drama, historical, action and Lord of the Rings lover. Mostly like to watch Dickens and the like, and if it's history it's better than anything else, as long as it's done well and they get the story right anyway.

I tend not to go for cartoons and comedy, don't mind comedy if it's witty, but the really dumb, silly stuff I do not like. Based on that these movies don't really fit in with what you would think that I would like.

"Hoodwinked" I really enjoy for it's different take on the story and it presents a great picture of how we prejudge situations and how each person can see the same circumstances very differently.
Okay, I have to admit, I think this movie is stupid, but that was part of their thing, showing just how dumb fairytales look when you put them in real world circumstances. That said, I love this movie and am not really sure why.
So, Beauty and the Beast is a typical little girl love, but I wasn't a typical little girl, enjoyed the whole princess thing for a little while but grew out of it pretty quickly, except for Beauty and the Beast, I still love this one!

Aside from the Challenge, right now my family is getting ready to head off to Glacier National Park for the day, along with our guests. The plan is to go up to Logan Pass on Going to the Sun road, then hike to Avalanche Lake.

Yesterday we went tubing down Swan River, twice. And we went the day before as well, that one was only supposed to be 45 minutes and ended up being almost 4 hours, until we were rescued by a lovely couple who had just come down to their weekend home to water the lawn. It will definitely make some fun and strange memories!

Day 23

2010-08-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

A Way In Which You Want to be Remembered:

I would like others to remember me as one who always served the Lord in very aspect of her life. Not remembered for anything great that I may do but for how the Lord may use me in someone else's life. I wish to be remembered as one who was a reflection of Christ, nothing of me but all of Him!

Day 22

2010-08-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

A Website:

Okay, so I couldn't choose just one, so here's a few of favorites that I visit pretty regularly.

I use Biblos just about everyday, it's how I do my studying in the Bible, and I love being able to study it in different languages.

I also enjoy Pandora, I like listening to the radio, but it seems there's always stuff that's questionable, I like Pandora because I can choose what artists and I want to listen and if one comes up that's a problem I can block them.

Goodreads is another of my favorites, I mean come it's a reading and book website, how I could I not love it! I also use it to find and collect quotes, so much easier than jotting them down in a notebook, though I do that a lot too.

And here's just a few fun ones that I enjoy checking on every once in a while.

greenweddingshoes.com

visionarydaughters.com

amandabethonline.blogspot.com

polyvore.com

A Grief Observed

2010-08-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want others to be around me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.

There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, after all. Love is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I met H. I've plenty of what are called "resources." People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little while to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this "common sense" vanishes like an ant in the the mouth of a furnace.

On the rebound one passes into tears and pathos. Maudlin tears. I almost prefer the moments of agony. These are at least clean and honest. But the bath of self-pity, the wallow, the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it-- that disgusts me. And even while I'm doing it I know it leads me to misrepresent H. herself. Give that mood it's head and in a few minutes I shall have substituted for the real woman a mere doll to be blubbered over. Thank God the memory of her is still to strong to let me get away with it.

And know one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job-- where the machine seems to run on much as usual-- I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much... They say that an unhappy man wants distractions--something to take him out of himself. But only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he'd rather lie there shivering than get up and find one." C.S. Lewis A Grief Observed

I picked this up and started reading it this morning and was struck by how much it rung true with me right now, the restlessness, and disinterest in what is going on around me in the lives of others. Now, no one has died, I'm not going through the struggle of losing someone, but I am going through a lot emotionally right now. It's been a constant up and down struggle for some time now and I am seeking to balance things out and find something else for me to focus on. Mainly I need to be focusing on the Lord and what He would have me do to serve Him with my life. This is very easy for me to say and know, but difficult to put into practice. Especially when my thoughts constantly want to turn to that which is upsetting and making me restless.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit with me.

Do not cast me away from Your presence,

And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore me to the joy of Your salvation,

And sustain me with a willing spirit.

Psalm 51:10-12

Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come;

You have given commandment to save me,

For You are my rock and my fortress.

...For You are my hope;

O Lord GOD, You are my confidence from my youth.

...But as for me I will hope continually'

And will praise You yet more and more.

My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness

And of Your salvation all day long;

For I do not know the sum.

I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD;

I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.

O God, You have taught me from my youth,

And I still declare Your wondrous deeds.

And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me,

Until I declare Your strength to generation,

Your power to all who are to come.

For Your righteousness, O God, is to the heavens,

You who have done great things;

O God, who is like You?

You who have shown me many troubles and distresses

Will revive me again,

And will bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

May You increase my greatness

And turn to comfort me.

Excerpts from Psalm 71

Day 21

2010-08-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Something You Know You Do Differently Than Most People:

I had a difficult time with this one so turned to my sister asked what she thought, and was able to come up with something.

I typically like to read the Bible in Ancient Greek rather than any of the English translations, it's something I started a while ago when I first learned Greek in 10th grade. Wasn't till more recently that I actually started doing my reading in it and I don't do it all the time, but I try to as much as possible. I've found that the Greek words have much more fullness and meaning to them than the translations that we use today. It really makes me consider more what God is really saying in His Word and how I am to apply it to my own life.

Theos Eneulogoemai!

Day 20

2010-08-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

A Hobby of Yours:
I guess one of them would be sword-fighting, something I haven't been able to do for quite a while because of frequent injuries, but now am really hoping to get back into. Did my first one in about a year or so on Friday and had the guy beat in two moves!

Day 19

2010-07-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

A Talent of Yours:
Well, I guess it would have to be my art skills, I'm not particularly talented in music or writing like my sister's but I am able to draw fairly well.

Day 18

2010-07-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

A Time When You Felt Passionate and Alive:

I feel most passionate and alive when I'm either studying or speaking with someone about the Word of God and His Awesome power! It blows my mind when I really start looking into everything He has done and what He has told us He will do. And the more I learn of it the more I want to live my life in a way that shows it to all those around me, the more I want to know and glorify Him in every aspect of my life. He is everything that I am here for and how can anything else excite my passion more than His glorious name!

"Those who look to the Lord are radiant, and their face shall never be ashamed."

Psalm 34:5

I Love My Cello...

2010-07-29T17:24:00.000-07:00

And I got to spend the afternoon with a lovely friend of mind playing cello duets! It was so much fun, the first time I've ever really gotten to actually just sit down and play for while with someone. Usually I just play for myself and my very patient family. Played mostly just by sight reading stuff, which is something I've really been trying to work on so I can get up the gumption to play at our church... still am not there yet.=)

Now am sitting in my nice, dark room. My blinds broke several years ago and I've never replaced them so on especially hot days I put a big blue sheet over the window to keep things cooler, sometimes makes me rather sleepy too, walking into my room is kinda like walking into a cave.

And here's me right now, not sure why I'm feeling like posting these random pictures of myself but, well I'm not actually sure what the "but" is for...

Anyhoo, finished addressing all the envelopes yesterday, yay! It feels really good to have that done even though we don't really need to have it done for another week or so, it's just one more thing we can check off the list. I finally got myself to get back to work on Hayley's dress, was just so frustrated with having to redo the entire top I needed to take a little break from it, but now I'm back on the wagon and it's coming along quite nicely.

We're expecting our guests from Seattle to arrive sometime this evening, so the house is all unnaturally neat. Took a bit of doing as our guest room had become wedding central, but now everything is safely stowed in my parent's room, we just need to blow up some air mattresses and they should be set.

Hope you all have a lovely evening!

Day 17

2010-07-29T09:21:00.001-07:00

An Art Piece:

Day 16

2010-07-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

A Song That Makes You Cry:
I don't really cry at a lot of things, though I can if I allow myself to be pulled into it. Schindler's List makes me cry because I can't listen to it without thinking of the story behind it.

Day 15

2010-07-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

A Person You Admire:

I have a few different people I admire in different ways, most prominent among them being my father. I admire him for his audacity and fervency in proclaiming the gospel, his desire to serve his Lord and his family, and his constant seeking to learn and study out more and more of the Scripture that he may better be able to teach and apply principles in his own life.

This Day Is Slowly Going By...

2010-07-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

It's been somewhat of a down day for me, I'm not feeling too great, so after trying to continue things as normal this morning gave up and am spending the afternoon in whatever comfortable position I can, right now it is laying flat out on my stomach.

I did start addressing envelopes today for my sister's wedding invitations, it is something I very much enjoy though it can get long. I know one thing, I will never forget the address to my parents house, between doing this for Caitlin's graduation announcements, and my own, now for her wedding and most like someday for mine, it is permanently embedded into my brain.

Here's me right now, you can probably tell that I'm rather out it.

I've been doing a lot of studying lately based off some conversations I've had with others and things that have been being taught and discussed in our church. Warning: if you get involved in a doctrinal conversation with me and it doesn't get fully resolved(or even if it does), most likely you will have to talk with me again next time I see you so I can unload everything I went home and discovered.

Most recently my studies have been on a question I overheard two good friends discussing and which I later discussed with them myself:Did God create evil? It is definitely a difficult thing to think about. We have a God who created everything, nothing can be created outside of Him, so with that in mind it is simple to say yes, He created evil. But we also have a God who is holy and many question how a holy and righteous God who cannot sin could be responsible for evil. When talking with my father about this, he brought out the point that much of it has to do with our human perspective of evil, everything God does is righteous, and what man may intend for evil He uses for good. He has ordained that some men are going to be wicked, has prepared "vessels of wrath for the for destruction." If man had not fallen into sin, we would never know the richness of His grace and mercy.

Rather than questioning God in His creation, we should look at ourselves and who we are, how we can have the arrogance to question our God, on this note please watch the video I posted a few days ago by Voddie Baucham.

In the end, I believe the question of the creation of evil is not one we find a definite, biblical answer on. Nothing can be outside of His creation, He is sovereign over all things and holy and righteous in all that He does, who are we to question it? What are your thoughts? If anyone has done some study on this and has some Scripture to help clarify on this please share.

The other studies I have been doing has involved listening to a series of sermons by Dr. S. Lewis Johnson on Systematic Theology, this was suggested to me by my father and I have been very much enjoying it. My family has had this view point on studying Scripture, but this is really helping me to get a clearer view and solidify it in my own mind.

This past Sunday we listened to a sermon on the way to church by John MacArthur teaching on Romans 15:1-7, it was mainly teaching on some things that we had studied in church the week before and my father wanted to look into a little more as well as have our entire family hear some things on. Basically being about serving one another as Christ and how we in the church are to love one another. Many have a clouded or even mistaken view of how we are to love one another. Truly loving one another in Christ means speaking the truth to one another even when it may hurt the other person, some would call this harsh and question if it is truly loving, but for my part if I see a good friend of mine who is following after the things of the world I would rather say something to them and have them be offended than know that they may suffer eternal damnation and I never showed them the truth of where I knew they were headed. Loving each other as the body of Christ is constantly seeking to build each other up which means at times discussing doctrines that we may disagree upon, one or both of us has to be wrong. And we need to be able to discuss and consider the other person's side, able to defend our own. If we cannot defend it from Scripture than we need to seriously reconsider our belief. And when we do defend with Scripture be oh so careful to keep that Scripture within it's proper context, studying the entire passage, not just the one verse that may apply to the situation.

When we are speaking truth into another's life as part of loving them, I think we also need to look carefully at our own attitude coming into it. Are we doing it because we love them or to point out all the problems we see in their life and put them beneath us because of them. Many choose to be silent about issues and say it because they love them and don't want to hurt them, this is wrong and not truly loving that person, but very carefully consider your motive when you do feel the need to go someone on a difficult matter that you feel should be addressed.

"Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, which leads to action on behalf of it's object." Voddie Baucham

Day 14

2010-07-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

A Vacation You Would Like to Take:

I have a lot of vacations I would like to take, there are so many places I would love to travel. But right now the foremost on my list is to go to New England, and basically do a history tour.

Day 13

2010-07-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

A Guilty Pleasure:

I guess I'll have to go with a very common here, coffee & chocolate. I do have other ones, like sleeping in pretty much whenever I can get away with it, reading can sometimes be one, it can be so hard to put a book down even when I have a long list of other things that I really should be doing.

Day 12

2010-07-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

A Song That You Want Played at Your Wedding:

I really don't know of any songs that I really want at my wedding, I like a lot of film stuff like Emma by Samuel Sim, Nicholas Nickleby by Rachel Portman, and various other stuff. But nothing particular that stands out to me as being very special and wanting to have at my wedding. I'm sure when it comes down to it there will be some hymns and such but right now I got nothin'. =D

AmandaBeth Giveaway!

2010-07-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

Ladies,

There's fun giveaway going on at AmandaBeth Online

Always nice to find a modest way to enjoy swimming, especially as it can be such a challenge.

Be sure to check it out!

Image from HydroChic

Day 11

2010-07-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

A Photo of You Taken Recently:

Why does God Allow Bad things to Happen?

2010-07-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Day 10

2010-07-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

A Photo of You Taken Over 10 Years Ago:
Here's one with big sister Caitlin, hard to believe she's getting married in a few weeks! I think I'm about two here, so a bit further back then 10 years.

Day 9

2010-07-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

A Photo You Took:
I don't take a lot of photos around this house, and most of the ones that I have seem to have disappeared. But here's one taken last spring.

Day 8

2010-07-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

A Thank You Letter to Someone Who Has Changed Your Life:

I'd like to have this post be to Lynne Mason, one of the most wonderful, godly women I have ever met.

Lynne,

You have been such a marvelous example to me of the Proverbs 31 woman as she is lived out practically in everyday life. You have changed my life in many ways, challenging me to further godliness and being able to speak boldly and clearly about my faith, to use for others the gifts that God has blessed me with rather than just for my own personal satisfaction. And to be constantly living everyday for a greater purpose than just simply going through the "mundane" tasks, that are inevitably, but viewing them as opportunity's to glorify the Lord.

Through you I had my first interest in midwifery, while right now I may not be pursuing it, the things I have learned in the courses I've done and books you have given me, have given me skills that I may use to serve others and a greater awe of the wondrous work God has done in creating life!

I love you Lynne, and give God thanks and praise upon every rememberance of you.

Day 7

2010-07-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

5 Things You Couldn't Possibly Live Without:

I try not to have things like this, would rather see what I can do without rather than what I can't. Of course there are the essentials like food, clothing, water, air. But I don't think that's what their looking for, so here's a few things that I really like having around, and would rather not do without.

I seriously think that this is one I could not live without, I love my books and am not sure that I would survive without them.

I don't really need my coffee, but it can make my day much pleasanter overall.

And I very much enjoy my laptop, probably too much, maybe after this blog challenge I'll go on a "computer fast"... or not.

I really don't think I could live without music, that's a very painful thought. I love listening to it and am so enjoying playing cello.

Last but not least, well maybe they are least actually... My knives. I really like my knives and their something that's quite useful too. This is one that I actually do have and it is my favorite, that and my Kershaw.

Day 6

2010-07-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

A Moment You Wish You Could Relive:

I don't know that I've had any of those yet. I'm all for pushing ahead in what is before rather then dwelling on the past. Although I have sometimes wished that I were little again so I could sit on my father's lap and cuddle with him.

Day 5

2010-07-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

A Favorite Quote:

I love quotes, I have notebooks just for all my quotes, and am always searching for more to add to my collection. One of my favoritest ones is from Voddie Baucham:

"Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, which moves to action on behalf of it's object."

Now, aside from the Blog Challenge.

Things are quite busy at my house, with plans moving along full speed ahead for my sister's wedding in September. We were able to get a building secured this week, a Lutheran Church in Bigfork, very conveniently located and quite spacious.

I've been sewing some everyday this week, finished a practice bridesmaid dress, which turned out quite lovely, it's a pity it will never be worn. Am almost finished with mine, probably would be finished if not for some zipper trouble, I loath zippers! All of our shoes came this week,their a little big for us, we had ordered the same size for all of us. Hayley's actually got the biggest feet, then Jillian, and then myself, so it's definitely looking like I will be the short one in the Carstensen family.

Our biggest thing right now is trying to find a photographer, it's proving quite difficult, so please be praying that God would lead us to the right one!

Theos Eneulogeomai!

Day 4

2010-07-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

A Favorite Television Program:

Our family doesn't watch tv at all really, so I'm not familiar with what's out there right now. But we do have some stuff that we like to watch after it comes out on DVD, my favorite being Stargate:Atlantis.

Day 3

2010-07-15T10:34:00.001-07:00

A Favorite Book:

Here again I'm going to have to go with my most recent favorite as I have so many. My all time favorite is the Word of God, but as far as other things one of my new favorites is John Adams by David McCullough.

Day 2

2010-07-14T08:27:00.000-07:00

A Favorite Movie:

Again it is so hard to choose just one favorite, so I'll have to go with the newest addition to my ever growing list. Alice In Wonderland

Day 1

2010-07-13T10:44:00.001-07:00

A Favorite Song:

I have a lot of favorite songs, it's really difficult to choose just one, but right now I'm really enjoying "It's In the Rain" by Enya.

Have always loved just listening to rain fall, so this one rings a bell with me!

30 Day Blog Challenge

2010-07-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Found this on another blog and decided to give it a try, not sure if I'll be able to stay completely consistent but they're pretty short each day so hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it. I'll be starting tomorrow, wouldn't mind if someone joined me! =)

Day 1: A favorite song.

Day 2: A favorite movie.

Day 3: A favorite book.

Day 4: A favorite television program.

Day 5: A favorite quote.

Day 6: A moment you wish you could relive.

Day 7: Five things you couldn't possible live without.

Day 8: A thank you letter to someone who has changed your life.

Day 9: A photo you took.

Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago.

Day 11: A photo of you taken recently.

Day 12: A song that you want played at your wedding(or was played).

Day 13: A guilty pleasure.

Day 14: A vacation you would like to take.

Day 15: A person you admire.

Day 16: A song that makes you cry.

Day 17: An art piece.

Day 18: A time when you felt passionate and alive.

Day 19: A talent of yours.

Day 20: A hobby of yours.

Day 21: Something you know you do differently than most people.

Day 22: A website.

Day 23: A way in which you want to be remembered.

Day 24: A movie no one would expect you to love.

Day 25: A recipe.

Day 26: A childhood memory.

Day 27: A physical feature you love.

Day 28: A scar you have and it's story.

Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans you have for the next 365 days.

Day 30: A motto or philosophy.

To Emily Rich...

2010-06-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry to make this public Emily, but I've been trying to email you and for some reason all my emails are coming back as "undeliverable". Do you have another email address I could try?
I would be happy to help with your project if I am able to, so email me and I will keep trying to get a hold of you!
Blessings, His Handmaiden

It's June!

2010-06-01T15:49:00.001-07:00

" I wonder what it would be like to live in world where it was always June." L.M. Montgomery

A Cloudy Day and Last Night's Movie

2010-05-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

Although some might call it rather deary outside, I'm loving the weather right now. Personally gray days are some of my favorites, yesterday was quite lovely in my opinion, a soft, cool breeze blowing the heavy gray clouds that look ready shower down on us at any moment, I so wanted to go out for a walk, but unfortunately was at work so couldn't just take off. As such, this post will be rather short... so I can get outside.=)

We were hoping to get Alice in Wonderland, but discovered that it wasn't out yet so rented The Young Victoria instead. I very much enjoyed it. Especially with it being a true story, while fiction is very interesting some of the time there's nothing quite like seeing history brought to life. And this was beautifully done. The sets and costumes were absolutely gorgeous, and all the actors did an excellent job.

Hayley of course thought it quite boring and so took off part way through, but for Caitlin this was way better than Alice In Wonderland, well, as you all know she is the one studying for a B.A. in History, so of course she's going to love it. My favorite part was the costumes and music, as well as seeing the beautiful love story between Victoria and Albert. That poor man had so much patience and humility. Can you imagine being the husband of the Queen, basically having the wife be the head rather than yourself? Yet he handled with grace and strength, supporting and guiding her in many areas of their time together together, so tragically shortened by his early death.

Homeschool Banquet 2010

2010-05-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

Kisses and Cream

2010-04-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

Spent the morning and part of the afternoon in town, always a rather tiring thing for me. My MRI was at 10 o'clock, things went pretty well, but of course we won't really know until next week when we get the results and look at them with the doctor. I can't say I particularly enjoy lying in a tube-like, noisy machine for half an hour, but it wasn't too bad. Then we went to Target where I was able to to find some new summer tops, it just figures that the past few days when it's been really warm all I had was my dark, wintery ones and now that I have some fun, light summer ones, it has gotten colder and is threatening to rain. :(

Also did a few other errands, and then had to go to The Barn to look for a birthday gift for my aunt. Oy, so terrible a trial!(For those of you that don't know, I Love the Barn, it is one of my favorite stores!) I always come out of there with all these ideas for what I could make and things I could to to my bedroom. And got to try a lovely Green Tea hand cream, which I now really want to get!

The other night rather than our typical dinner with Roman he brought Rayjoice, Raydeemie, and Raidiant along. Also brought all the girls flowers and a bag of chocolate kisses to share! We played outside for a while, it was such a lovely evening, unlike right now. Then we came in and had ice cream while watching a movie. Very fun, though a little too late considering I had to work the next day, but I made it through all right. ;)

Anyhoo, not a lot else going on other than our usual business. Right now I'm very much looking forward to the Banquet next week, can't wait to wear my cream dress!

2010-04-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just a few of my favorite things from Modcloth.

modcloth.com

I'd love to add these to my summer wardrobe, except maybe the first one, probably would save that for the cooler months.

Style Spy Trench

Soda Fountain Dress in Cola

Texas Travel Guide Boot

Tea by the Sea Top

Plaid It's Raining Boots

The Woman in the Window Coat

Savannah Sweetness Top

Oceanside Pier Wedge

Luster for Life Coat

Coffee Talk Heel

Fun!

2010-04-07T08:36:00.001-07:00

A perfect spring jacket from Burberry!

BBC's Emma

2010-03-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

We just finished watching BBC's new Emma, I had seen it before on YouTube but it was great to get to see it on a larger screen and not in ten minute segments.=)

I have to say, it is very difficult for me to compare the different Emma's. This is now the fourth one that we own. There are aspects on each that I like, although I'm really not big on the old BBC one. I grew pup watching the Kate Beckinsale one so that is the most familiar to me. The Gwyneth Paltrow version was a little too silly for my liking but I do enjoy it. This one I really enjoyed, although they did take out a few of my favorite lines. I think Romola Garai did an excellent job, and that she makes a very good Emma, though a little bit bouncier than I am used to her being. I loved the music, and although I do not think the dancing was entirely accurate for that period it was very fun and made me want to get up and join them.

I think when watching all these different versions you just have to take each one for what it is, and enjoy the different takes that people put on it. I wouldn't say that any one is better than another, just different.

Some Houses I Wouldn't Mind Calling Home

2010-03-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

The Delights of My More Girly Side

2010-03-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I have a tendency to be a little less girly in some areas, but here's of few of my favorite things about being a girl!

Wearing lovely long, white skirts!

Bolts and more bolts of fabric. Just think of all the wonderful things you can do with it!

I do have a weakness for heels, they have to be just right, but I will indulge in a pair of wholly impractical ones on occasion. ;-)

I love longer earrings, preferably more simple elegant ones.

Gotta love long hair! This is one I feel somewhat sorry for guys with, you have no idea how fun it is to play with hair!

Pickin wildflowers!

And I do like my make-up, try to keep it simple though.

This is one of my absolute favorite scents, though I have few others I like too.

Anyway, there's a few things about my more girly side!

"There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I were just one Anne it would be ever so much more comfortable, but then it wouldn't be half so interesting."
L.M. Montgomery

A Tag from Johanna

2010-03-15T16:18:00.000-07:00

1. High heels or boots? BOOTS!

2. What time did you get up this morning? 7:15ish

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? A Christmas Carol 3D

4. What is your name? Laurel

5. What is your favorite TV show? Stargate: Atlantis

6. What do you usually have for breakfast? I don't typically eat breakfast...sometimes a glass of milk or a cup of tea.

7. What is your middle name? Bethany

8. What food do you dislike? Not too big on pickles...or artichoke hearts.

9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Awaken the Dawn by Keith and Kristyn Getty

10. What characteristic do you despise? Stupidity, irresponsibility and pride.

11. Favorite clothing? Skirts and boots!!

12. Anywhere in the world on vacation? A tour of Europe!

13. Are you an organized person? Well, I like my life to be organized, but compared to others in my house I'm not so great at it.

14. Where would you retire to? I'd travel.

15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My most recent one.

16. What are you going to do when you finish this? Hmm, if my internet is still working probably do some online research.

17. What is your Birthstone? Sapphire.

18. Person you expect to publish this first? No idea.

19. When is your birthday? September!!

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night, I do not function well in the morning, wish I did...

21. What is your shoe size? Typically a 4 or 5.

22. Do you own any animals? Not personally, but my family has some.

23. Any news you'd like to share? My big sister is being courted, I just rearranged my room... nothing too much going on right now.

24. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A firefighter!

25. What is your favorite flower? I love wildflowers, but don't have a particular favorite.

26. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Tomorrow! We get to celebrate Hannah's birthday!

27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? A really dark, deep red.

28. How is the weather right now? Gorgeously clear and sunny!

29. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mr. Underhill

30. Favorite drink? Water!

31. Favorite restaurant? Probably ShowThyme!

32. Hair color? Medium brown, with some lighter highlights.

33. What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos!

34. Summer or winter? Not big on snow but I prefer cold weather to hot. So, not really sure. How 'bout Autumn?!

35. Chocolate or vanilla? What kind of question that? Chocolate all the way!

36. Coffee or tea? Mmm, I love coffee, but am very fond of tea as well. My favorite is a Mocha Black Rasberry tea I got a bit ago, nummy!

37. Wish you were still young? Ha, I wouldn't really call myself old yet!

38. Do you want your friends to publish this? Sure.

39. When was the last time you cried? A couple weeks ago.

40. What is under your bed? Movies, clothes bin and Cd's.

41 . What did you do last night? Had a group of peoples over, took a two hour walk, and slept!

42. What are you afraid of? My own weaknesses, and ( in a right sense) God.

43. Salty or sweet? Sweet, but not too sweet.

44. Best quality you have? Do I have to answer that? I guess commitment to what I believe and not being afraid of being different from the world.

45. How many years at your current job? 1 and a 1/2.

46. Favorite day of the week? Sunday!

47. What four people will you tag?Any four that are willing! ;-)

2010-03-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

A Few of My Favorite Things...

2010-03-01T20:33:00.000-08:00

" Seriously, there is something very refreshing about sheets and pillow slips just fresh from the line, after being washed and dried in the sun and air. Just try them that way and see if your sleep is not sweeter. " Laura Ingalls Wilder

"When you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen." A.A. Milne

"You can never have too many hats, gloves, and shoes." Patsy Stone

"Books - the original laptop"
— found in an old dusty bookstore

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." Charles Dickens

"Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness" Anne Frank

"Saunter slowly in the sun, eating chocolate, and carry a blanket so you can take a nap."

"Without music, life would be a mistake." Friedrich Neitzsche

"Give me a good sharp knife and a good sharp cheese and I’m a happy man." George R.R. Martin

"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea." Henry James

"For obvious reasons, I never told you about my notebook, with a cover as green as mansions long ago, which I use as a commonplace book, a phrase which here means 'place where I have collected passages from some of the most important books I have read.'" Lemony Snicket

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." Jane Austen

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them." Lemony Snicket

"Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly."
Cornelia Funke

"I can't imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once." C.S. Lewis

Vespetilio ( Another Tag)

2010-02-17T16:47:00.000-08:00

Found this on a blog and thought it very interesting.

Put your ipod (or playlist) on shuffle and the use the titles that come up as the answer to your questions.

If someone says "This is okay", you say: Dances With Wolves (Well, I guess if I wanted to be totally random.)

What would best describe your personality? Song for the King ( Great, I strive for it.)

What do you like in a guy/girl? Pride and Prejudice (Not really)

What is your life's purpose? Come Meet Father(Yes, my Heavenly Father.)

What is your motto? Speak O, Lord ( I think it's a good one.)

What do your friends think of you? Like a Dog Chasing Cars( How rude.)

What do you think about very often? See, What a Morning (Well, every morning.)

What is 2+2? The Point of No Return( Oh,yes.)

What do you think of your best friend? The Music of the Night(I'm not even sure who this is.)

What do you think of a person you like? Hall of the Mountain King(Well...)

What is your life story? Journey to the Cemetery( Well, it's true,hmm.)

What do you want to be when you grow up? One (Yeah, I guess that a good ambition.)

What do you think when you see a person you like? Dell' Amore Non Si Sa(Interesting, I think in Italian.)

What do your parents think of you? Why So Serious?(Wow, that is good to know after all these years.)

What will you dance to at your wedding? Learn to Be Lonely(Ooh, quite the choice, should I be worried?)

What will they play at your funeral? Swords Crossed(Okay, I'm worried.)

What is your hobby/interest? I Do Believe in Fairies( Well, I wish I could, but I have too much common sense.)

What is your biggest secret? I'm Not a Hero(I don't think that's a secret.)

What do you think of your friends? Caribbean Blue( Not really sure what that means, but to all my friends: take it as a compliment!)

What's the worst thing that could happen? The Black Rider(Yeah, that's pretty bad.)

How will you die? Your Man(Okay, now I'm seriously worried, that's just scary.)

What's the one thing you regret? Blood Ritual( I would regret that if I had done it.)

What makes you laugh? Learning to Fly( It really is quite amusing.)

What makes you cry? March of the Celts( I can see that being sad.)

Will you ever get married? Rock Prelude( Is that a "yes" or a "no"?)

What scares you the most? The Sky, the Dawn and the Sun( Morning scares me so much!)

Does anyone like you? The Phantom of the Opera( Cool, and rather creepy.)

If you could go back in time, what would you change? Universe( Talk about a big ambition!)

What hurts now? Someday( Yes, I'm sure I will be hurt someday, if not today.)

What do you often exclaim? Summer Fly( Well, Summer Fly!)

Where is paradise? Lothlorien(Well, close.)

What did you first say as a baby? To Go Beyond(Apparently where I was wasn't enough for me.)

If you had a pet, what would you name it? Artibeus( I do like bats.)

What is your favorite sight to see? Heat(It's so cool!)

What makes you gag? Foundations of Stone(I think anyone that tried to eat that would.)

What are you best at? Agent of Chaos(Muhahaha!)

If you wrote a book, what would you call it? Hope and Memory( Nice title, I like it.)

What did you wish for last? The Door in the Air( Yeah, I'd like one of those.)

What would your superhero name be? Ash and Smoke( I am Ash & Smoke, fear me!)

How soon will this be over? The Forbidden Line( I guess I'm not supposed to know.)

Where are you sitting? Here I Stand(Well, I'm not sitting, I guess.)

What do you most hate? Mermaids(Aw...)

What do you most love? Jesus, Lover of My Soul( Very true!)

What do you not care about? The One You Left Behind(If I left them behind, then yes, I don't care about them.)

What is your secret name? In My Dreams(I only have a secret name in my dreams.)

What will you post this as? Vespetilio( Hence, the title of this post!)

Someone else please do this, it was so fun!

Factiod Tag

2010-02-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

From Hannah's Happy Hovel

FOODOLOGY
Your salad dressing of choice? Italian
What is your favorite sit[down restaurant? Not sure, maybe ShowThyme.
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of? Probably pizza, because you can do so many different things with it.
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pesto, spinach, chicken, mushrooms, maybe some tomato.
What do you like to put on your toast? Typically butter, but sometimes jam.

TECHNOLOGY
How many televisions are in your house? Two.
What color cell phone do you have? Grey
What does the first text message in your inbox say and who sent it to you? Something about it being undeliverable, from Google.
Who was the last person to call you? Mitch.

BIOLOGY
Are right-handed or left-handed? Mainly right, but because of various injuries I have learned to use my left rather well.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Just blood I think.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? Because of back injuries I'm not really allowed to lift heavy things, but I guess it was Justice Mallery for me too.:-)

RANDOMOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No, not really.
If you could change your name what would you change it to? Well, I really like my first name, I would like to change my last name, but I'm not sure what to yet;-)
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? I think it would depend on how hot it is, but yes most likely. How long does it have to take me?

DUMBOLOGY
How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? Two, rather rarely worn though.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Hasn't happened yet.
Last person you talked to in person? My sister.
Favorite month? September!

CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone? Very much so.
Mood? Hmm, rather indifferent.
What are you listening to? Typing.
Watching? I Love Lucy
Worrying about? What is going to happen to me next.

RANDOMOLOGY
What's the last movie you watched? "Rear Window"
Do you smile often? Not often enough, most likely.
Do you always answer your phone? Well, somebody does, it may not be me in particular, but it gets answered.
It's four in the morning and you get a next message, who is it? I have no idea, but they'd better have a good reason for it.
If you could change your eye color what would it be? Green.
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Don't go there.
Do you own a digital camera? I did, and now I think we have 5 in the house, so...
Have you ever had a pet fish? No.
Favorite Christmas song? "It's a Wonderful Christmas"(Micheal w. Smith)
What's on your wishlist for your birthday? Coldsteel's large "Espada".
Can you do push-ups? Yes.
Can you do a chin-up? Yes, Ooh, I want to do one now!
Do you have any saved texts? Um, not really.
Ever been in a car wreck? No, but it's probably next on my list.
Do you have an accent? Well, that all depends, everyone has some kind of accent. It also depends on the time of day.
What is the last song to make you cry? I do not know.
Plans tonight? Dinner at home, maybe a movie.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? In some circumstances yes, life as a whole? Don't think I've lived long enough for that.
You ever been given roses? On several occasions.
Current hate right now? That I can't watch the Olympics.
What were you doing at 12 AM lat night? Funny thing, I woke up around that time craving scrambled eggs.
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? My little sister had a stomachache so I was trying to work things out with her.

My Sister and Me

2010-02-15T20:21:00.000-08:00

When we were younger Caitlin and I had a very difficult relationship, she was always the good girl, the one that did everything perfectly and had the upper hand in all the fights. I was, well I saw what she was like, didn't think I could live up to so didn't even bother. Not that I was a horrible, rebellious child, but I definitely got into a lot more trouble and received a lot more punishments. It took a long time for each of us to accept each other for who we were( still not sure about it sometimes;-)

But we have developed a pretty good friendship( it really helped when we stopped sharing a room.) And really, we do understand each other pretty well, it's quite fun to be able to talk with someone, not have to finish your sentence and they know just what you mean, even though you yourself can't articulate it.

We tend to pry into each others business quite a bit, and have a lot of fun laughing over the " follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies" of others.

Lately we haven't talked a lot, which is really my own fault, I've been rather moody and been shutting myself up in my room most of the time so haven't taken the time to talk with my big sister about the changes and rather large happenings going on her life right now. Then also I haven't been at work which is where we typically get most of our talking in.

Anyway, all this to say I love my big sister and miss talking to her about all the things that go on in our lives.

She helps me to put things in perspective and be able to laugh over all the crazy things that go on rather than my first instinct, which is often to brood and cry some over them.

A Little Bit of Happiness

2010-02-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

When it Comes to Home Decor...

2010-02-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I really have neglected my blog quite shamefully haven't I?
Life has been treating me fairly well, although sleep is something that I've had quite a lack of lately and while for a few days that is alright it is starting to catch up to me. Also this morning I (again) managed to injure myself moving some boxes. Really I'm beginning to feel like I should just have my family wrap me in bubble-wrap and never let me out of the house.

We broke our New Year's Eve tradition this year and spent it with our church family. For as long as I can remember we always had done pizza, m&m's, and watched movies till midnight, just our family, although when we were younger we usually did not actually make it to midnight.
I quite enjoyed spending it with friends, played ImagineIff (And found out what everyone really thought of everyone else.) Then several rounds of Mafia(And found out who everyone hated.) Had a time of prayer and singing, very enjoyable, I love singing with people who actually enjoy it and so do it quite well. Later on played more Mafia, my favorite part of that game is dying so that you can just sit there and watch everyone else, it really is most amusing. Most people left between 11 and 12 o'clock, my father got caught up in a game so we were there till after 1 a.m. and played Worst Case Scenario( where we found out how long we would all survive in various situations.).

Yesterday we had all planned to go skating, but unfortunately things had warmed up and created slush on the pond then frozen, so it was unskatable. Instead we did a sledding party in the afternoon, I'm not really much for sledding myself, I find it to be more work than it's really worth, but I enjoy watching others spill, and amuse themselves with it. Although for the most part yesterday was not all that interesting.

"I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens, but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string." L. M. Montgomery

A Carstensen Christmas

2009-12-28T12:48:00.000-08:00

First of all I have to show off our gingerbread village! We had so much fun building it and are enjoying eating it too, though that part is rather bittersweet.

Above the village, looking over on our skating pond.

I love details, like the icicles and window frame here.

And our sweet little mercantile, seems like it would be a fun place to visit.

Caitlin's log cabin, it also had a stone chimney, made from chocolate rocks.

The Meeting House, as we like to call it.

Christmas was fairly quiet, because all of our family is in California and Oregon, for the past few years we've spent it with friends usually people, that, like us, have no family in the area. This year was spent with the Cunninghams, and an older woman who was recently widowed.
Hayley woke us all up bright and early, around 5 o'clock. We had a pretty leisurely morning, having cinnamon rolls for breakfast(yummy!). Then straightened up everything and were able to Skype with our grandparents, the first time we've seen them on Christmas in 8 years.
Here's a few pictures.

This year we decorated in a more natural look, with berries, "snow" clusters, pine cones, and these little woodland creatures.

Also some snowflakes, including these lovely frames my mother got last year.
And here's the tree Christmas morning.
The fun socks we all got!
And playing Jenga with the Cunninghams.

It's About Time

2009-12-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I haven't done anything in a while(obviously), blogging has not really been on the top of my To Do list.
Here's a little bit on what I've been up to lately...
Our Thanksgiving was pretty quiet we had the Cunninghams over for the meal, after which we all went out and took a walk, then came home and played games while enjoying coffee and pumpkin pie. Here I'm teaching Caitlin Cunningham how to play Backgammon.
John and his friend Matthew also joined us in the evening, and spent most of it around the chess board.
Sweet Jillian and Rachel! I love having a baby around so much, it is so fun!
Hayley and Jacob taking their turn at the chess board.
And last Saturday we trekked out to get our tree. I'm very glad we did that before we got 8 inches of snow, and fortunately we didn't have to go too far to find it.
Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland!
Jillian doing her sign language at the choir concert.
My lovely and wonderful parents!

I'm hoping to do some more posting soon. Please forgive the lapse of creativity I've had lately, and also laziness on my part, just can't seem to get myself to get things together, I'm working on it though. God bless you all!

14 Days of Thankfulness

2009-11-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

Many apologies for not having kept up with the 14 Days of Thankfulness. I find that it is very difficult for me to write something everyday. Unfortunately, the gift of writing well is something that went to all my sisters and seems to have passed me up almost entirely. While I do enjoy journaling and writing letters for the most part writing is something that I have a very hard time with.
Anyway, today I want to say how thankful I am for people who can write. I love to read and am always looking for something new to add to my library. I have been very blessed by the talents that God has given others in this area, especially since I myself can not do it. Some of my favorite authors being: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, George MacDonald, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, L.M Montgomery, David McCullough, Madeleine L'Engle, Voddie Bauchum, John Piper, Charles Spurgeon, Charles Bridges... and many more.

14 Days of Thankfulness: Day 3

2009-11-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

Although unfortunately I had to stay home from church this morning (still am not quite back to 100%). I just wanted to write about how thankful I am for the church we are at right now. My family has been in a lot of churches here in Montana and when we lived in California. It has always been difficult to find a place where we were welcomed and that had a true desire to follow after Christ and serve Him according to the Bible, not any man's ideas. While I know that certainly our family is not perfect and definitely does not have everything together as far as the best way to go about our lives and truly know what the church is to be more than anyone one else, it has been our desire to follow by the Word that He has given us. But this has not seemed to be the desire of many churches out there, many of them seek to be appealing to the world thinking that this will draw others to Christ, they want it to be attractive to the world so in many ways have become just like the world, after all we wouldn't want anybody to be uncomfortable with Christ, would we? (sarcasm)
My father from pretty much the beginning of his walk with Christ had a tendency to be a boat rocker(well wasn't Christ one too). And so churches that sought to make things comfortable for themselves and the world were not the place for him. We went through quite a few churches when we lived in CA, and I remember sometimes being rather upset with my parents for taking us away from places just when I start to actually get to know the place and make friends. As I got older I started to understand a bit more and began seeing myself what was going in many different places. When I was 11 I left the Sunday School at the particular church we were going to because I felt like I wasn't learning anything, we simply went through the same Bible stories over and over again. I joined to adult Sunday School class, which rather upset some of the adults.
We ended up leaving that church just a few months later. (And not because of me=).
Since we first moved to Montana in 2001, we have been to 8 churches, and that doesn't include all the ones we just visited once or twice. They lasted from almost 2 years to as little as 4 months. Inevitably something would come up, a couple times resulting in church splits.
Christ's Covenant Fellowship is one we actually attended before, though under a different title and with a bit different grouping of people. At the time we left, about 4 years ago, we were very upset and disappointed, it had been the first church in a long time where we had actually felt like part of a family. But there were some doctrinal issues. A little over a year ago the elders of Christ Covenant asked us to return. Asked us! Never before had someone actually wanted our boat rocking, flow disrupting family to come to a church. Especially one that had had some difficulty's with us in the past. So we started attending, and it has really been wonderful, we are with people that we have known for some time(and they don't hate us yet... I think). Have had wonderful fellowship, and right now my father is doing the teaching. So far it has been one of the best church experiences I have ever had and I hope and pray that it will continue for many years yet.

O, church arise and put your armor on
Hear the call of Christ our Captain
For now the weak can say that they are strong
In the strength, that God has given
With shield of faith and belt of truth
We'll stand against the devil's lies
An army bold whose battle cry is love
Reaching out to those in darkness.

Our call to war, to love the captive soul
But to rage against to captor
And with the sword that makes the wounded whole
We will fight with faith and valor
When faced with trials on every side
We know the outcome is secure
And Christ will have the prize for which He died
An inheritance of nations.

Come see the cross where love and mercy meet
As the Son of God is stricken
Then see His foes lie crushed beneath His feet
For the conqueror has risen
And as the stone is rolled away
And Christ emerges from the grave
This victory march continues till the day
Every eye and heart shall see Him.

So Spirit come, put strength in every stride
Give grace for every hurdle
That we may run with faith to win the prize
Of a servant good and faithful
As saints of old still line the way
Retelling triumphs of His grace
We hear the calls and hunger for the day
When with Christ we stand in glory.