A Season of Pain

Well! My apologies on how long it has been since I have posted. I did not fall off the face of the planet, although that would be an interesting experience. Just haven't had much to say on what has been going on in my life lately.

Things have been rather dismal around my family's house. The church that we've been a part of for the past two years closed it's doors about four weeks ago.Before we started attending this fellowship my family had been at home meeting with another family listening to sermons on CD. We never felt like that was what God had for us to do but after visiting many churches in our area fell back on it for lack of anything else that we felt we could do. When we started attending this church it was wonderful we were with people that we really felt were seeking to do the Lord's will and follow His word. But after several difficult situations that they were unable to resolve the elder's felt it was best to discontinue as a church. So now we're back in the car wondering what the Lord would have us to do.

My family has had many difficult experience when it comes to churches, from the time I was very little church visiting was a normal thing for me, and I never liked it, I don't do well with new and unfamiliar things so going to a different place each week was quite trying. When we came to this fellowship I was very hesitant, we had just gone through a church disbanding, and it was not the first one. After we had been attending several months I became a lot more open, I really felt like this was a place we could continue at for sometime and that I would even be able to raise my own family within this body. I grew closer with friends there and began putting down roots. So this closing has affected me even harder than any fellowship we have gone to before. I no longer have confidence in any church, and these past few weeks have gone by in a blur of tears and anger. Even now it is extremely difficult for me to sit here and write about it.

I do have hope and confidence in the Lord, knowing that He works all things out according to His, and although things seem all wrong to us, it is all a part of His sovereign and perfect plan.
"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." C.S. Lewis
I know and have faith that what God is doing is for the best, but it is also extremely painful. It seems that every time we have gotten involved in a church things have gone down, so now I am not sure that I even want to try being a part of another one. I am tired of feeling that every time I stand up I get knocked right back down. I know that God will work all this out. Right now I would ask for prayer that my family would have wisdom in making decisions and I would have the strength to get through it. Always standing firm in His grace and on His word.