Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Just Some Tidbits About Myself

Alrighty, so I was tagged by Polka Dot!
Thanks for tagging me, I've been a little uncertain on what to write about and this gives me something without me actually having to pull my hair out searching for inspiration.

Books I've read recently...
1. Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall & Debbie Jones
2. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
3. What He Must Be by Voddie Baucham
4. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
5. The Great Divorce by C.S Lewis
6. North and South by Elizabeth Gaskill
7. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
8. John Adams by David McCullough

Songs or albums I listen to all the time...
1. Awaken the Dawn- Keith and Krysten Getty
2. Evermore- Shannon Wexelburg
3. The Lost Get Found - Britt Nicole
4. Until the Whole World Hears - Casting Crowns
5. The Village - James Newton Howard
6. Emma - Samuel Sims
7. In Christ Alone - Keith and Krysten Getty
8. Sogno - Andrea Boccelli

Things I love...
1. Pillows
2. Coffee
3. Knives=)
4. Old Books
5. Boots
6. Notebooks
7. Swords
8. Sweaters

Things I've learned this year...
1. It's way better to depend on the Lord than try and control everything yourself.
2. Injuries take time and rest to heal...
3. It is possible to sew 7 dresses in a fairly short amount of time.
4. Nutella is oozing of goodness.
5. Singleness is such a blessing, as it is used for the Lord in service of others.
6. Brother-in-laws are a ton of fun, and pretty crazy to boot.
7. I very much enjoy knitting afghans.
8. It's okay to dress up and be girly sometimes, even if your known as more of a conservative, casual type.

New Recipes I Want to Try and Make...
1. Raspberry Chocolate Cookies
2. Espresso Tiramisu
3. Grilled Chocolate and Cheese Sandwich
4. Chicken Scallopini
5. Arugula Pesto Pasta with Ricotta and Bacon
6. Fettuccine with Yellow Bell Pepper-and-Basil Sauce
7. Tea-Soaked Chicken Breasts
8. Triple-Herb Cucumber Soup

Favorite Online Hangouts...
1. Blogs of friends and... others.
2. Goodreads
3. Polyvore
4. Facebook
5. Biblos
6. Pandora
7. Modcloth
8. Mixpod

Projects I need to work on...
1. Organizing my belongings.
2. Reading all my lovely books.
3. My soft, grey afghan.
4. Finishing the basement bedroom.
5. Honing my drawing abilities.
6. Improving my fencing skills.
7. Baking and cooking more regularly.
8. All the various little things I've started and have no idea where they even are right now...

Other people I think should do this...
1. Daughter of the King
2. Hannah
3. Megan
4. Rayia
5. Raja-man
6. Miss Pickwickian
7. Nahla
8. Eldarwen

Monday, August 30, 2010

Catching up...

My apologies for the lack of posts these past few days, things have actually been a lot more laid back for me than usual. I had my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday so spent the next couple days being lazy. Really could have written then but was not feeling much motivation or inspiration as far as what to write on.
The surgery actually went really well, of course I was asleep the whole time so don't actually know how much difficulty the doctor's may or may not have had. But when I woke up I was fully alert, none of the confusion or loopiness that I was told to expect. Was able to go to prayer meeting that evening much to the surprise of everyone else there, not that there was that many there, it was actually just us, some of the Mallerys and Mr. & Mrs. Bauer.
The next couple days were the most painful, right now I'm still feeling like I got slugged, and am craving something to actually chew on, rather than drinking all my food.
Things are coming together pretty well as far as wedding plans go, three weeks seems like a very long and very short time. The dresses are now mainly finished, hopefully you'll get to see all my work in pictures after the wedding, right now we're trying to keep things pretty well under wraps so that not everybody knows everything about the wedding before the actual day. =)
Caitlin's been packing her stuff up preparing to move it to their basement apartment. Also has been collecting furniture with which to fill their new home, she recently got a couch and recovered the cushions, we had to test it out to make sure it will fit plenty of people.;-)
Caitlin's shower was quite lovely, thank you so much to all the ladies who came and Hannah for putting it all together!
I meant to write a lot more but am really lacking in words right now, hopefully I'll be posting a little more consistently here soon, meanwhile I'll leave you with a quote from Spurgeon:

"There are times when solitude is better than society, and silence is wiser than speech.
We should be better Christians if we were more alone, waiting upon God, and gathering though meditation on His Word spiritual strength for labour in his service. We ought to muse upon the things of God because we thus get the real nutrients out of them...Why is it that some Christians, although they hear many sermons, make but slow advances in the divine life? Because they neglect their closets, and do not thoughtfully meditate on God's Word. They love the wheat but they do not grind it; they would have the corn, but they will not go forth into the fields to gather it; the fruit hangs upon the tree, but they will not pluck it; the water flows at their feet, but they will not stoop to drink it. From such folly deliver us, O Lord..."

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Week, Possibilities, Ecclesiastes, and God's Love...

The past week was one of many little things that needed to get done, I mostly finished the dresses for Roman's sisters, just need to hem them up now, something I couldn't do until yesterday as I need them to try them on. It's been fun to sew them, I've never done this many dresses in such a short amount of time, was a bit daunting coming into it, and now I'm feeling rather burned out on the whole sewing thing, but I did enjoy them and found the patterns a lot easier to do then at first I thought they might be, they got especially easy after doing several of the same thing.=)
Went out shopping for Caitlin's shower on Wednesday, and had a lot of fun choosing things that I thought she might like and would be useful in the home. Came home and wanted to show her everything! But of course I have to wait until the shower itself. Which is tomorrow night!
On Friday I met with a gal who needs a nanny for her two boys, one of them being two and the other not yet born, he's due to arrive next month, then she has a three month maternity leave, I would then be taking care of them starting in December. It's not set yet, we met for lunch to figure some things out and get to know each other a bit. She's a rather bubbly personality, compared to my own rather reserved self. Also very sweet and I think it will be a lot of fun to care for her boys and get to know her a little better. But we'll see what the Lord works out.
On Saturday I had the opportunity to sit down and chat for a while with my childhood best friend, he's leaving for college this weekend and we've barely had anytime this past summer to visit. People who met us used to think that we were twins, we are about a month apart in age and did everything together. It is hard for me to believe that this boy that I've played make-believe with so many times is now headed back east and will be at college for four years.

This was taken when we were about 8, in between us is his younger sister.

Today I've mostly been doing things around the house, getting it back together after our company on Sunday, and working on some other little projects. My mother and I sat down and looked at some house plans, we are considering down-sizing after Caitlin leaves, so were working out some options. I have always loved drawing floor-plans for houses, and now am really enjoying looking at things and figuring how best to put it together with my mother. Though we each have rather different ideas of what we like and hers of course come before mine when it actually comes down to what we would end up doing, if it's something that actually happens. Right now it is still just something we are considering as a possibility.

I wanted to share something we read this morning in our family Bible time, we are going through a commentary on Ecclesiastes by Charles Bridges, it is excellent! I highly recommend it.

"The men we want are lively, warm men, real men -men who have a daily contact with a personal living Savior -men, whose religion is the element which they breathe, the principle by which they work - men, who think of life as the seed-time for eternity. What if we should come to the last stage - without having even learned to live! with the great end of life yet unaccomplished!"

This applies to all Christians, not just the men, but it is they who lead and therefore their responsibility to set the example for their wives and children. We need these men in the church today, men who are willing to stand against the world and live fully in Christ, with Him as the central and primary focus of their lives, everything else being of little or no significance.

And now to share another of my readings today, this being from Jasmine Baucham's blog; Joyfully At Home This is just what stood out and challenged me, please go and read the entire post.

"The other day I was reading The Hiding Place, getting ready to teach one of my English students about the life of Corrie ten Boom...
She met a young man named Karel who seemed to be promising her the moon -who, by all appearances wanted to spend the rest of his life with her -who devoted his time to long walks with her, long letters with her, and hopeful promises to her... and Corrie despite the warning from her older brother that Karel would only "marry well", and not into the impoverished ten Boom family, fell in love and built her hopes around this guy.
Karel did choose someone else, and he came to the ten Booms' to introduce his fiance. Corrie was cordial, but the moment he left she ran up to her room and threw herself across the bed and cried, knowing that her only love had just walked out of her life. And then Father walks in:
...suddenly I was afraid of what Father would say. Afraid he would say," There'll will soon be someone else", and that forever afterward this untruth would lie between us. for in some deep part of me I knew already that there would not -soon or ever- be anyone else.
The sweet cigar-smell came into the room with Father. And of course he did not say the false, idle words. "Corrie," he began instead, "do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain.
There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.
God loves Karel -even more than you do - and if you ask Him, He will give you His live for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy.
Whenever we cannot love in the old human way, Corrie, God can give us His perfect way."
I did not know, as I listened to Father's footsteps winding back down the stairs, that he had given more than the key to this hard moment. I did not know that he had put into my hands the secret that would open far darker rooms than this -places where there way not, on a human level, anything to love at all." - The Hiding Place

And I'm reading this passage, the one I've read a million times over the last ten years, and I'm thinking, that's the answer: for minimal crushes, crushing heartache, for dealing with young men who have feelings for you that cannot reciprocate, for awkwardness around young men in general...to love them the ways God loves -to seek their best interest, even if we are not what happens to be in their best interest. To love steadfastly and unconditionally, but in that God-honoring, uplifting way and not necessarily in that romantic way. To love selflessly.
God loves you, and has given you the task of bringing him glory and delighting fully in him as he reigns sovereign over your life's journey -- the moment that task requires a husband, he will send the right one. There will be no guesswork or false hopes or false starts necessary. And part of trusting God's sovereignty in that area is being willing to love -truly love -the young men in our lives, beyond the love we'd lavish on a prospect, and straight onto the love we're to give our brothers and sisters in the Lord(Ephesians 4"25-32)
There will come a day when some of us are blessed to be married to men that we love in that slow-motion, violins, wine and waltzing sort of way... but even in our marriages, I think the best moments in our lives will be when we show our husbands the unconditional loves the Father gives -the kind that goes way beyond a Celine Dion love song and into the realm of true servant-heartedness -submission -and sacrifice. It's the kind of love that isn't always easy -that comes directly from God -that will make the marriage of two grace-saved sinners worthwhile."

This post impacted me hugely, for some time now I've been struggling with my friendships with various young men in my acquaintance, young men I view as brother's but am uncertain of how I am to carry out friendships with because of the ages we are now at. And because of the need I know I have to guard my own heart. Now I feel like I can come at things with a fresh perspective, loving them as God loves and knowing that I need not worry and fret about my future because He will at the right time work all things out. This is something I do already know but it is always good to have it confirmed and worked out in a new way.
I had been considering the possibility of having to cut off some of my friendships with these brothers because of things going on, but I see that I can still love them in the way that the Lord loves and show that to them, having no need to cause hurt and difficulty by cutting things off all together.
I pray that I would be able to show this love, that God would give me the grace to be sister in Christ, loving them as my brothers in Christ, selflessly and unconditionally.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Lord, Teach Me To Love...

" In heaven everything and everyone is lovable , but as the Lord Jesus said,"If ye love them which love you what reward have ye?"Matthew 5:26 In heaven everyone loves everyone else and in hell no one loves anyone. But on earth we are in a perfect environment for learning to love as God loves: to abandon ourselves to the apparently unlovely people who remind us that in many ways we are still very unlovely ourselves.

Love is not a feeling it is an overmastering passion to help and bless and deliver and comfort and strengthen and give joy to others just as the Lord Jesus always did.

Here on earth we have to opportunity to do what the God of love does all the time, and to learn to abandon ourselves to loving, to giving, to seeking, and to saving others. Not a lovely feeling of affection, or physical pleasure and satisfaction. But the extreme eternal ecstasy of creating happiness and good and blessed things for others to enjoy. To cast ourselves down in happy giving, asking for nothing in return except the joy of so doing. When we really begin to and practice that lesson we shall begin to feel "at home" in the eternal world of selfless love.

It is not a feeling one waits for, nor some person to evoke that love. It is an attitude of will. I will cast myself down in giving. The lower I go the more love I am able to transmit from God to others, just like the Lord of love Himself, who was not content until He found and took the lowest place in the universe." -Hannah Hurnard


I was blessed by this this morning at Marie Loves , so thought that I would pass it along.
Blessings, His Handmaiden

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

An Everlasting Splendour

"There is a difference between the growth of some human beings and that of others: in the one case it is the continuous dying, in the other a continuous resurrection." George MacDonald

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal... each person is either an immortal horror or an everlasting splendour." C.S. Lewis

We come in contact with various people on a daily basis but do we ever really stop and consider who these people are and what they may mean in our own lives or what we may mean in theirs. I know it is not something that I often think about, or if I do it is once I have gotten home and look back on the events of the day. When we are speaking with others do we consider the fact that we are servants of Christ and therefore witnesses of Him to everyone we come in contact with. These are not just random people on the street, masses of cell life that came about by a freak accident. Everyone is either a child of God or a child of the devil.
Actually taking this into consideration when I am around others, whether it is people I know or strangers greatly changes the way that I interact with them. What I say and do tells others where I am at, if I am a servant of Christ, it should be obvious by everything I do. But it is so rare that this actually comes across, I have met many people who could very possibly be followers of Christ, but it never came across through the interaction we had one with the other, and they could say the same of me. What is it that we do to set ourselves apart from the world and show to them the hope that lies within us, the hope of being eternally with our Lord as children of light, and showing to them their own lost state, as being headed to eternal damnation. What are we doing to glorify the Lord as we walk through each day?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Living House

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
C.S. Lewis
I often wonder about the little things that happen in my life, some moments of happiness and at others times, of frustration and sadness. Things that are not really of much consequence to anyone else and that in few weeks time are of little or no consequence to me. But at the time that they happen they can cause extreme joy and rejoicing or a heavy heart and downcast spirit. I wonder about the reasons behind these things, nothing that God does in our lives is purposeless He is always using everything that happens to grow us in some way. Therefore each tiny little thing that happens, something that we ourselves may view as insignificant is actually of much importance to Him, we are being shaped by the circumstances around us.
In my own life it is rather difficult to see right now where exactly the Lord is leading me. I quit my job a couple moths ago, and have been at home helping my mother prepare for the wedding. Right now that is mainly what I am focusing on, but more recently I have been trying to consider more what I am going to do after my sister has left and I take on my new role as the oldest in my family. Caitlin has always been the most driven and goal -oriented of all of us. After finishing high school she started working and did online college studies getting her B.A. in History. I have been asked several times what I am going to study and pursue in my single years. Apparently our family has become known as one that seeks to be constantly pursuing and studying something. Which to some degree is true, but I really have no desire to be pursuing anything like that right now.
Okay, so someone asks about that and I respond. "So then, what are you going to do?", is the next question and right now I am not really sure of the answer. Then I start questioning myself, who am I? And what am I using my life for right now? I do not want to look back on this time in my life and see that I wasted it in any way. My desire is to be a wife and mother and to train up warriors for the King of kings, at this time that is something I am still waiting for the Lord to put in place. Many in todays society have a problem with this. Just recently we met an elderly lady at a concert, she was asking about our family and what's going on for each of us, mainly Caitlin and I since we are done with school. When she found out that Caitlin is getting married this fall, she then asked her age, after telling her a concerned look came over her face, she then turned to my dad and told him that he needed to "let the girl live a little before getting married." After she had walked away we all laughed a bit, who says you can't live after you get married! It's not like our life ends when we say "I do", rather it is beginning the calling the Lord has lead us to and putting our training to good use. But we were also saddened, this woman has been so misguided by the world into believing the lie that women who are wives and mothers are slaves that need to be liberated so that they can actually live life. Rather than seeing the beauty and glory of the highest calling that God has out in place for us.
But back to my time at home, because I have nothing in particular that I m pursing at this time, I can sometimes feel a bit lost, but at the same time I am being provided with opportunities that I would not have if I were pursuing studies or working all the time. Today I was able to do updo's for a wedding along with a friend of mine, also was able to to do some babysitting this week for someone that needed it. I am able to do the sewing for my sister's wedding and help my mother with various other details. I recently started cello lessons and can pursue excellence in that area. I have time to study things out that my father shows me from Scripture and various teachings. I would not say that I am in any way missing out on living life to it's fullest, because I am at home and in my parents will, the Lord provides more opportunities to serve, and while it can feel aimless at times, it really teaches to trust and have faith that the Lord will show me the next step in my life when I am ready for it. I do not need to have my life planned out, I can just follow Him knowing that He is shaping and building me in every little things that happen, even though I often don't understand it and find it painful. It will in the end be beautiful, because every work He does is perfect, lacking in nothing.

Friday, August 13, 2010

More of My Polyvore...

I loved the colors in this skirt , it was my basis for the entire outfit, and well, it's pretty obvious that I love boots, if possible I would wear them at all times, but it can look a little strange and be rather warm in the summertime.
Here's and idea of how I prefer to dress when fencing, a shorter, fuller skirt to allow for more leg movement, and in cooler months a jacket and gloves.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 30

A Motto or Philosophy:
"But as for me I will always have hope, I will praise the Lord forevermore."
Psalm 71:14

Wow, my last day... I'm actually surprised at myself for doing it everyday. And I've actually enjoyed it. It was fun having a reason to get on here and write something each day. I hope you all enjoyed it and learned a little more about who I am, and the awesome God I serve.
I'm hoping that I will be able to keep up with writing on a consistent basis, now that I know I can there really is no excuse, is there? I'm planning to address some topics that I have have been hearing and reading about lately, as well as just some daily life stuff. We'll see how things go, and what the Lord has in store for me. Right now, I think it's heading outside for a quick walk before I have to really get going on my day.
Theos Enuelogeomai!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 29

Hopes, Dreams, and Plans You Have for the Next 365 Days:
I hope to continue growing more and more in the Word of God, in order that I may have a deeper knowledge of Him and therefore a stronger desire to love and serve Him in everything I do.

I hope to serve my family in a new way as I now become the oldest in the household, I hope that I am able to fill my older sister's place with the same grace and diligence that she has shown over the past 21 years.

I hope to find a job again, so that I may serve another in that way and be able to be active.
I dream of the Lord returning and calling us home to Him, to live with Him eternally in everlasting joy!
I dream of many thoughts for the future that I know are only a possibility by the Lord's will.

I plan to finish that I stack of books on my shelf that I am longing to read.
I plan to finish my basement bedroom so that I can move into it.

I plan to be able to play my cello for our church.I plan to live my life in whatever manner the Lord calls me to that I may live it fully for Him!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Getting Ready for Fall...

I know it's a little soon, but I just love fall so much! The warm, rich colors, and fun sweaters, and of course my all time favorite... BOOTS!

Fall Business
Fall Casual

Fall B&W

Day 28

A Scar You Have and It's Story:
I don't really have any scars, all the injuries I've had have been of different nature. Mainly dealing with muscles and joints, despite being all into knives I rarely cut myself, although I do have one scar on my left index finger, from where I cut myself when I first got one of my larger knives. So there's what I've got, not very interesting I know but I'm afraid I don't have anything else.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 27

A Physical Feature You Love:
Eyes! I love looking at peoples eyes, they say more than anything else about that person. And I love to draw eyes, if I just sit down with a piece of paper and start doodling it will probably end up being an eye. In any portrait, eyes are what bring the person's face to life, my art teacher told me that if you can draw great eyes you can draw anything, they are the hardest part to make look right, and he's found it quite odd that they are my favorite part.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Having Fun at Anthropologie...

Day 26

A Childhood Memory:
My clearest memories are of the family that lived next door to us when I was little. They were very close friends of ours, and we basically shared both houses. Mostly I remember playing various fantasy things, the ladder that always stood in their yard was the gateway to "Mysteria", which was whatever kind of land you wanted it to be, but usually it was inhabited by some evil power which we had to overthrow in order to return to our own home. That or we all had our time travel watches, and would battle in the Civil War, rescue Jews from the Nazi's during World War II, and escape just in time to avoid being eaten by a dragon.
I was so sad when they moved to Ohio a year before we moved to Montana, it felt like half my family was missing. And we'll get to see them this fall for the first time in 10 years! Though I doubt we'll being doing any time traveling. =)

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Walk in the Park...

Yesterday we took our guests up to Glacier to show off what we think is one of the most wonderful places to live. Drove up to Logan Pass, and hung out there for a little bit, but as usual in the summertime there was really no places to park and the trails were swarming.

So we drove back to down to Avalanche Lake and did that hike instead, it was my 6th or 7th time doing it, so really familiar, I would have like to do something new, but enjoyed it just the same, Kelsie of course had to get in the water, not content just to look at it. =)
Jordan on the way up...
Me and my big sis!

It was a gorgeous day! A little warmer than usual up there, which was rather nice as it can get somewhat chilly at times. We've been having so much fun with the Pedersons here, went tubing 3 times, and I think this afternoon we will be heading out for our 4th. Hiking's been great and it's really nice to be able to take this time off from all the wedding stuff and do some fun outdoor stuff.
The late nights are really catching up to me though,*huge yawn*, I look forward to getting lots of sleep come Monday! But for now I'll just keep going and start my days with plenty of coffee!

Day 25

A Recipe:
So this recipe is actually from Blessed Femina, we had it the other night and I loved it! So yummy!

Braised Chicken in Sun-Dried Tomato Cream

Makes 2 servings, can easily be doubled.

2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 tablespoon oil from oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes
3 large garlic gloves, thinly sliced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/3 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup drained oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, thinly sliced
3 tablespoons thinly sliced fresh basil

Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Heat oil in heavy medium skillet, over medium-high heat. Add chicken to skillet and sauté until golden, about 4 minutes per side. Add garlic and 30 seconds. Add white wine cream and tomatoes and bring to boil. Cover skillet, reduce to medium-low and simmer until chicken is just cooked through, about 3 minutes. Transfer chicken to plates. Add basil to sauce in skillet. Increase heat and boil until sauce thickens enough to coat spoon, about to minutes. Season sauce to taste with salt and pepper; spoon over chicken and serve... enjoy!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 24

A Movie No One Would Expect You to Love:
I'm very much a period drama, historical, action and Lord of the Rings lover. Mostly like to watch Dickens and the like, and if it's history it's better than anything else, as long as it's done well and they get the story right anyway.
I tend not to go for cartoons and comedy, don't mind comedy if it's witty, but the really dumb, silly stuff I do not like. Based on that these movies don't really fit in with what you would think that I would like.

"Hoodwinked" I really enjoy for it's different take on the story and it presents a great picture of how we prejudge situations and how each person can see the same circumstances very differently.
Okay, I have to admit, I think this movie is stupid, but that was part of their thing, showing just how dumb fairytales look when you put them in real world circumstances. That said, I love this movie and am not really sure why.
So, Beauty and the Beast is a typical little girl love, but I wasn't a typical little girl, enjoyed the whole princess thing for a little while but grew out of it pretty quickly, except for Beauty and the Beast, I still love this one!

Aside from the Challenge, right now my family is getting ready to head off to Glacier National Park for the day, along with our guests. The plan is to go up to Logan Pass on Going to the Sun road, then hike to Avalanche Lake.
Yesterday we went tubing down Swan River, twice. And we went the day before as well, that one was only supposed to be 45 minutes and ended up being almost 4 hours, until we were rescued by a lovely couple who had just come down to their weekend home to water the lawn. It will definitely make some fun and strange memories!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 23

A Way In Which You Want to be Remembered:

I would like others to remember me as one who always served the Lord in very aspect of her life. Not remembered for anything great that I may do but for how the Lord may use me in someone else's life. I wish to be remembered as one who was a reflection of Christ, nothing of me but all of Him!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 22

A Website:
Okay, so I couldn't choose just one, so here's a few of favorites that I visit pretty regularly.

I use Biblos just about everyday, it's how I do my studying in the Bible, and I love being able to study it in different languages.

I also enjoy Pandora, I like listening to the radio, but it seems there's always stuff that's questionable, I like Pandora because I can choose what artists and I want to listen and if one comes up that's a problem I can block them.

Goodreads is another of my favorites, I mean come it's a reading and book website, how I could I not love it! I also use it to find and collect quotes, so much easier than jotting them down in a notebook, though I do that a lot too.

And here's just a few fun ones that I enjoy checking on every once in a while.

Monday, August 2, 2010

A Grief Observed

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.
At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want others to be around me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.
There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, after all. Love is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I met H. I've plenty of what are called "resources." People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little while to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this "common sense" vanishes like an ant in the the mouth of a furnace.
On the rebound one passes into tears and pathos. Maudlin tears. I almost prefer the moments of agony. These are at least clean and honest. But the bath of self-pity, the wallow, the loathsome sticky-sweet pleasure of indulging it-- that disgusts me. And even while I'm doing it I know it leads me to misrepresent H. herself. Give that mood it's head and in a few minutes I shall have substituted for the real woman a mere doll to be blubbered over. Thank God the memory of her is still to strong to let me get away with it.
And know one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job-- where the machine seems to run on much as usual-- I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much... They say that an unhappy man wants distractions--something to take him out of himself. But only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he'd rather lie there shivering than get up and find one." C.S. Lewis A Grief Observed

I picked this up and started reading it this morning and was struck by how much it rung true with me right now, the restlessness, and disinterest in what is going on around me in the lives of others. Now, no one has died, I'm not going through the struggle of losing someone, but I am going through a lot emotionally right now. It's been a constant up and down struggle for some time now and I am seeking to balance things out and find something else for me to focus on. Mainly I need to be focusing on the Lord and what He would have me do to serve Him with my life. This is very easy for me to say and know, but difficult to put into practice. Especially when my thoughts constantly want to turn to that which is upsetting and making me restless.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit with me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore me to the joy of Your salvation,
And sustain me with a willing spirit.

Psalm 51:10-12

Be to me a rock of habitation to which I may continually come;
You have given commandment to save me,
For You are my rock and my fortress.
...For You are my hope;
O Lord GOD, You are my confidence from my youth.
...But as for me I will hope continually'
And will praise You yet more and more.
My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness
And of Your salvation all day long;
For I do not know the sum.
I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.
O God, You have taught me from my youth,
And I still declare Your wondrous deeds.
And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to generation,
Your power to all who are to come.
For Your righteousness, O God, is to the heavens,
You who have done great things;
O God, who is like You?
You who have shown me many troubles and distresses
Will revive me again,
And will bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
May You increase my greatness
And turn to comfort me.

Excerpts from Psalm 71

Day 21

Something You Know You Do Differently Than Most People:
I had a difficult time with this one so turned to my sister asked what she thought, and was able to come up with something.
I typically like to read the Bible in Ancient Greek rather than any of the English translations, it's something I started a while ago when I first learned Greek in 10th grade. Wasn't till more recently that I actually started doing my reading in it and I don't do it all the time, but I try to as much as possible. I've found that the Greek words have much more fullness and meaning to them than the translations that we use today. It really makes me consider more what God is really saying in His Word and how I am to apply it to my own life.

Theos Eneulogoemai!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 20

A Hobby of Yours:
I guess one of them would be sword-fighting, something I haven't been able to do for quite a while because of frequent injuries, but now am really hoping to get back into. Did my first one in about a year or so on Friday and had the guy beat in two moves!