2-14-2011

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." - C.S. Lewis

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Laozi

"Love is many things, none of them logical." - William Goldman

"It is by loving and not by being loved that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness." - George MacDonald

"To love is to be vulnerable, love anything and your heart will be wrung and possible broken." - C.S. Lewis

"You were never poor as long as you had something to love." - L.M. Montgomery

"It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire that those who love generously know." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"To love would be an awfully big adventure." - J.M. Barrie

Time To Catch Up!

I feel quite remorseful every time I look at this blog and see the lack of posts. And yet I don't take the time to sit down and do anything about it. And that is certainly not for lack of time either. So here am now to fill you in on what has been going on in my life over the past few weeks.

Our Christmas was quiet and simple, just the way we wanted it, unfortunately I developed a pretty nasty cold the day before so spent much of Christmas Eve night trying to find a position I could breathe in and not wake my sisters up with my constant moving around (for as long as I can remember we have all slept in the same room together on Christmas Eve). Because of that, Christmas Day was a bit of a sleepy day for me, but I still enjoyed it very much and feel very blessed to have been able to spend it with my family, in our own merry traditions, and hope that I will always look forward to it with a childlike eagerness!

Around that same time, I started working as a nanny two days a week for two little gentlemen, ages 2 years and 3 months. This has been something of a different experience for me as I haven't taken care of such young children before and all of my other jobs of a similar nature have been with girls. But it has been a lot of fun and I look forward to what they will be teaching me as I seek to care for them as best that I can.

I mentioned a little while back that I was in a production of A Christmas Carol, playing the role of "Mrs. Cratchit". That again was a entirely new experience for me, I have done choir for many years but this was my first time being in a theatrical. And if given the opportunity I would most certainly do it again! I'm a rather reserved person, so this was quite a bit out of my comfort zone, and at first I was very uncertain about even being involved in it. However I think it brought something out in me that I didn't even know I had, I was never nervous about getting up on stage and loved every time that I could get out there and dance and sing. A friend told me that they were very surprised when they hear that I was doing this, because it seemed so foreign from what they knew of me, and then when they saw me actually doing it, they were even more surprised to see how much I was getting into it. =)

I've been having a host of new experiences lately! My next one however was not nearly as enjoyable. New Year's Eve, I had the opportunity to see how it is riding in the ambulance then being life-flighted to the hospital! That's one I think I could have gone without, but right now I just praise the Lord that I am back at home and have no more than a sprained back and some nasty headaches. And how did this "privilege" become mine? That day was a very long one, I hadn't gotten very good nutrition(more caffeine and sugar than was best) was out very late at a party, still coming off a cold, and quite stressed out. All of this on top of a head injury I had last summer, lead to me passing out and then having a seizure. I was released Sunday afternoon, and have spent most of the last week sleeping trying to get my body fully recovered from the trauma, am on an anti-seizure medication, and will be going to the doctor on Wednesday to get some more things figured out. Please pray that we would be able to work things out to get me off the the meds(the side effects have been bad headaches and an overall drowsiness that can make it difficult to function throughout the day).

Well, I think that pretty well sums things up so far. My plan is to try and keep up with things a little better on here...(hmmm). Any thoughts on the new background? I'm still not certain about it, may play around some, so if you see a lot of weird things constantly changing, it's just me being bored.=)

"Our faith is never so tested - our weakness ever so magnified - our reliance in the Lord never so strengthened - as when we are called to wait upon the Lord's perfect timing, and to obey despite what the outcome may be as we watch his sovereign plan unfold."

- Jasmine Baucham

Only People We Like

Okay, so as a distraction for myself as I'm sitting here with a cold and headache I'm going to do a tag from Daughter of the King.

Tag Rules:

1. Put your Itunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3.You must write down that song name no matter how silly it sounds.

4. Tag 20 friends.

5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.

6. Have fun!

Here are the questions:

If someone says "Are you okay?" you say...

Into the West-by Annie Lennox

Apparently either I need to go away or they do.

What would best describe your personality?

Agent of Chaos- The Dark Knight

Well, I would not have said that, but I suppose it could be true in some circumstances.

How would you describe yourself?

City of Gold- National Treasure:Book of Secrets

Ah yes, I am quite the treasure trove...

What do you like in a guy/girl?

Anduril- The Return of the King

Yes , it would be very cool if they had the power of a sword, or a sword itself!

How do you feel today?

Celtic Prayer- Meav Ni Mhaolchatha

Each day is full of prayer, I guess today's has a celtic lilt to it.

What is your life's purpose?

The Last Rose of Summer- Celtic Woman

Well, not really sure what that means, but I guess I could be a rose...

What's your motto?

Fog Bound- The Pirates of the Caribbean

I guess I could say this as being that I walk by faith rather than by sight.

What do your friends think of you?

To Where You Are- Chloe Agnew

Apparently they want to be where I am!

What do your parents think of you?

Only A Dream- Alice In Wonderland

That I'm too much of a dreamer, or that they are simply dreaming me up.

What do you think about very often?

Beneath the Cross- Keith & Krysten Getty

Yes I am often at my knees before the cross of Christ thinking of what He did there for me.

What is 2+2?

Who Was That Lying Dead? - A Christmas Carol

Well, um... not sure where to go with that one.

What do you think of your best friend?

Forever Love- Francesca Battistelli

I guess I really care about them a lot, but I'm really not actually sure who this would be.

What do you think of the person you like?

Matchmaker- Emma

Hmmm... do I even want to go there...

What is your life story?

Secrets- Emma

Not supposed to tell, it's a secret! =)

What to you want to be when you grow up?

Forth Eorlings- The Two Towers

A elite horse soldier? Not quite what I had in mind, but it could be fun.

What do you think when you see the person you like?

End Titles- The Duchess

Well, all things end sometime, I suppose.

What will you do at your wedding?

Vivaldi's Rain- Chloe Agnew

Apparently it will be raining, and that would be alright with me, I love rain!

What will they play at your funeral?

Psalm 23- ?

Very appropriate, I think.

What is your hobby/interest?

Skull and Crossbones- Pirates of the Caribbean

I have always enjoyed anatomy and wouldn't mind being involved in some sort of medical profession.

What is your biggest fear?

You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift

Okay, I guess I don't really want to belong to anybody.

What is your biggest secret?

Holy One- Casting Crowns

That's not really a secret, but yes, He is the biggest thing in my life.

What do want right now?

Peter's Shadow- Peter Pan

I could have fun with that, though it might start to annoy me a bit.

What do you think of your friends?

Godfrey- Robin Hood(2010)

I have no idea what this would mean.

What's the worst thing that could happen?

Fairytale- Enya

That doesn't sound too bad.

What is the one thing you regret?

Creation Sings the Father's Song- Keith & Krysten Getty

So wrong, I would never regret that.

What makes you laugh?

Prince Edward's Search- Enchanted

The whole movie makes me laugh, and especially Edward, he is so over the top.

What makes you cry?

Knighting Peter- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Nope, not really, I have never cried at that scene, and probably never will.

Will you ever get married?

Beautiful, Beautiful- Francesca Battistelli

That sound pretty promising so I will take it as a yes.

What scares you the most?

Caledonia- Celtic Woman

That's odd, I don't know why I would be afraid of that...

Does anyone like you?

May It Be- Enya

That sounds like it could go either way.

If you could go back in time, what would you change?

All I Ask Of You- The Phantom of the Opera

No idea how to explain this one...

What hurts right now?

Angel Doves- Lynn Hilary

That's sad...

What would you want to say to the person who tagged you?

American Dream- Casting Crowns

Hmm, maybe you work too hard, but knowing what I do of you, this would not be even close as far as the song goes.

What will name this post?

Only People We Like- Emma

I tag...anyone and everyone!

A Season of Pain

Well! My apologies on how long it has been since I have posted. I did not fall off the face of the planet, although that would be an interesting experience. Just haven't had much to say on what has been going on in my life lately.

Things have been rather dismal around my family's house. The church that we've been a part of for the past two years closed it's doors about four weeks ago.Before we started attending this fellowship my family had been at home meeting with another family listening to sermons on CD. We never felt like that was what God had for us to do but after visiting many churches in our area fell back on it for lack of anything else that we felt we could do. When we started attending this church it was wonderful we were with people that we really felt were seeking to do the Lord's will and follow His word. But after several difficult situations that they were unable to resolve the elder's felt it was best to discontinue as a church. So now we're back in the car wondering what the Lord would have us to do.

My family has had many difficult experience when it comes to churches, from the time I was very little church visiting was a normal thing for me, and I never liked it, I don't do well with new and unfamiliar things so going to a different place each week was quite trying. When we came to this fellowship I was very hesitant, we had just gone through a church disbanding, and it was not the first one. After we had been attending several months I became a lot more open, I really felt like this was a place we could continue at for sometime and that I would even be able to raise my own family within this body. I grew closer with friends there and began putting down roots. So this closing has affected me even harder than any fellowship we have gone to before. I no longer have confidence in any church, and these past few weeks have gone by in a blur of tears and anger. Even now it is extremely difficult for me to sit here and write about it.

I do have hope and confidence in the Lord, knowing that He works all things out according to His, and although things seem all wrong to us, it is all a part of His sovereign and perfect plan.
"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." C.S. Lewis
I know and have faith that what God is doing is for the best, but it is also extremely painful. It seems that every time we have gotten involved in a church things have gone down, so now I am not sure that I even want to try being a part of another one. I am tired of feeling that every time I stand up I get knocked right back down. I know that God will work all this out. Right now I would ask for prayer that my family would have wisdom in making decisions and I would have the strength to get through it. Always standing firm in His grace and on His word.

Hayley Westenra - Christmas Morning

It's difficult for me to comprehend that December is already upon us. Thanksgiving always seems to come and go so quickly, before I really even feel ready for it. although this year felt rather different as we do not usually have a foot of snow this early in the season. While I think snow is beautiful and would be very put out if there wasn't any for Christmas, I can't say that I'm really all that fond of it. I do prefer chilly days to warm ones, but am not a fan of snow. Maybe if I had more wintery hobbies, like skiing or skating, I would like it, but while I do occasionally get out on the ice, it's not a passion of mine.

That said, I do love Christmas! And having the snow certainly does add to the "magic" surrounding the holiday season. =)

I think this song very well captures some of that sense of the magic of Christmas, it's my new favorite Christmas song on my new favorite CD by Hayley Westenra.

5 Random Things This Maiden Loves...

1. Gel pens... I go through so many of these because they're what I use for everything, even if it's just jotting a down a quick note to myself.

2. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans... these are rationed at our house, otherwise they'd be gone about 5 minutes after we opened the package.

3. Co. Bigelow's Mentha Lip Tint... I'm not big on lip glosses, but this one I like because it has just a hint of color and gives a zing to my lips.

4. My pillow... I love pillows, but especially the one I curl up with during the night... and sometimes during the day too.

5. The Village by James Newton Howard... the music from the Village is so beautiful, gives me chills every time I listen to it.

On other notes in my life, I auditioned for this years local theatre production of "A Christmas Carol", went to the audition just to go along with some friends and maybe for fun do something. I ended up getting the part of "Mrs. Cratchit". Totally did not expect that, it been years since I've been in a play, but it should be fun and give me something to do for a few weeks. First rehearsal is tonight!

Fulfilling Passion

" I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it." Elizabeth Elliot

I've had this quote up above my desk on my wall for a little while now, it's something I look at each day and pray for each moment, that I would always remember my goal and purpose while the Lord has me here. That I would remember the relative short amount of time I have on earth to serve Him with. Eternity is something I don't think we can ever really grasp, we are finite and so the infinite is completely beyond our comprehension.

The desire to serve with all of me is a difficult one to live up to. It shouldn't be, just giving a moments consideration to everything that God has done me and me being so completely undeserving should be enough to make me want to do everything in my power to serve and love him in the way that he has loved me. But it is very difficult, very few Christian's have a deep passion for Christ.

The other day I was talking with a friend about hunting, it's really tough to get away from that topic at this time of year, not that I have anything against hunting, actually I rather like it. but talking about it so much gets old pretty quickly, and it starts to sound like the same story over and over just from different mouths. Anyway, as I was with this friend, he was talking some about how hunting is such a big thing for so many people, they have a passion for it, they want to talk about it all the time, there's a certain thrill in going out and being on the chase, shooting a buck, and then dragging it out of the woods(that part isn't quite so exciting). So much effort is put into making the time to go out and do it, having the right tools and exacting your own skills to be able to be the best that you can at it.

But how often do people put that same drive and passion into their walk with the Lord. It seems that we will focus on anything other than that, maybe not hunting in particular, but we all have things we love and get excited about. Most of them being things that in the long run will matter very little. But we fear to lose them, we want God to give us a desire for Him and focus on His Word, but we won't rid ourselves of the things that distract us from Him.

When we do finally put those things aside we find that He more than fills up any void that they might have left behind. We're talking about the Creator of the universe here, how could anything be more important to us than our relationship with Him?

"How sweet all at once it was for me to rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose!... You drove them from me and took their place... O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation." Augustine